Monday, April 12, 2010

Their Selfless Love Amazes Me!

He was the most active of my three children in the womb, my 3rd child. His jabs and kicks and rolls were always making his presence there in my belly known. He was also the biggest baby of my three, born weighing 8 lbs 7 oz.

My doctor and I worried he'd be too early, his older sister came 3 weeks early when my water broke. So I was tested for preterm labor risk a few different times. He wasn't early, staying in there right up until the morning of his due date.

For 40 weeks I carried that child, longer than the 39 weeks of his brother and 37 weeks of his sister. He was a part of me; a very known and loved person before I ever saw him face-to-face.

He was born with the umbilical cord tightly wrapped around his neck. He was very blue and not breathing.

I knew my Ob. well, she delivered my other kids, she was always so calm and comforting. I'll never forget hearing her say to the nurses that day, "Somebody call Neo.! Somebody call Neo.!" Her voice was forceful and urgent, like I'd never heard before, as she worked on my boy, squeezing the oxygen bag attached to the face mask against his little mouth.

Neonatal intensive care came and took my baby away and my Ob. came to my side to check on me. All I wanted to know was, "Is my baby going to be okay?" As a mother herself, she understood, I'd be okay once I knew my baby was okay. So, she went to find out.

She returned a few minutes later and let me know that he was fine, crying and his color was coming back. They brought him back to me just a couple minutes later. Aside from looking a little "rough" for the 1st 24 hours with blue bruising around his mouth and nose, there were no lingering issues associated with my little guy's traumatic first few minutes of life. And actually the cord being wrapped around the baby's neck is a common occurrence, and wasn't really even medically significant.

But, I will never forget what it felt like to have carried a baby, loved a baby, bonded to a baby for 40 weeks and then have him suddenly gone. Thankfully it was only for a few minutes.

But for some mothers who give their babies up for adoption, if they decide not to see or hold the child, their baby is taken away right after birth and never returned.

I cannot imagine how empty those mothers must feel.

As we are in the process of adopting a child, I think often of birth mothers. I think in our society mothers who give their babies up for adoption are negatively stereotyped, but I know they are an example of amazing strength and selfless love.

Because in those moments after birth the choice to parent that baby has got to be much easier than the choice not to.

This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge.
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  1. A beautiful tribute to the heart wrenching decision that is adoption. I, too, think mothers who make this choice because they cannot care adequately for their little ones are absolute heroines. What an exciting time for you right now!

  2. Wonderful post. I can't imagine how hard that decision is for those mom's. God bless you and your family as you expand your family.

  3. You are a wonderful storyteller -- I was drawn in to your story of your boy's birth. Good luck and many blessings to you as you navigate the road to adoption.

  4. thank you for sharing today ... and also for the reminder of just how precious life is. and what a miracle birth, and these babies truly are.

    many prayers and blessings as you go through the adoption process ... can't wait to see what God has in store for your family!

  5. lovely... and heart wrenching all at once.

  6. I just couldn't agree more. To give YOUR baby to another is really one of the most selfless acts of love I can think of. To want that baby to have what you can't provide, is to give that baby an abundance of real love to start their life. Soo wonderful.

    My daughter Mel had a VERY similiar start. Cord around her neck 4 times! AND tied in a complete knot...Her doc told me she felt it was a miracle she survivied as she had never seen such a long cord in all her years of practice...I told her God must have Great plans for her. Have a wonderful day.

  7. I know that feeling....having your baby whisked away to the NICU without a touch from Mama. So thankful all is well with your sweet one and many blessings as you forge that difficult road of adoption. I admire you.

  8. Wow, that is a powerful post. And, you are right. Sometimes, the right decision is not the easiest to make...especially when it comes to babies.

  9. This post hit me. Hard. Not because i gave my son up at birth, but because i wasn't allowed to touch him. I'll write about it in my blog.
    Great post.
    Thank you.

  10. Very touching. I cannot imagine the pain of giving up a part of me to another -- no matter how "right" the decision. I applaud women that are strong enough to do this. Such a good post.

  11. I think about those birth mothers at times. Such a hard decision. They are strong. You are so right. I am thankful so many have their babies and give them to loving parents instead of aborting them.

  12. Wow, what a thoughtful post!!! I love reading your 30 minute posts, they are always food for thought!!! Have a good week!!!


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