Playing hide-and-go-seek with my 3 year old today.
I count "one-two-three-four-five.
Ready or not here I come!"
I already know where she is.
But I pretend not to,
and wonder out loud where she could be!
I look in a few places I know she is not.
She giggles loudly from her hiding spot.
Then I peek behind the chair and loudly squeal,
"I found you! I found you!"
I tickle her a bit.
She laughs and laughs.
She catches her breath and asks, "Again?"
"You want to hide again?" I ask as if I can't believe it.
"Okay, " I agree and close my eyes and begin counting again.
Guess where she hides next?
Behind the same exact chair as before!
Eight different times she hides behind that chair.
And eight different times I pretend like it's hard to find her.
Because I know.
I know the days are coming when she will be good at hiding.
When she'll be able to be so quiet in her hiding spot it will be harder to find her.
She will grow up and know better than to hide in the same spot 8 times in a row.
She will grow up and someday pretend to search for her own obviously not hiding children.
But for today, I finally suggest that I hide and she find me.
She agrees and mimics the exact way I counted.
I hide behind a different chair.
But, I don't let her wonder where I am for long.
Children who have known the loss of a first mother, shouldn't be left feeling they can't find their mother for long.
I begin to call out, "Find me! Find me!"
We shriek and squeal with laughter!
She wants me to hide again.
But, then she tells me where to hide, behind the same chair I was just hiding behind.
And so I do.
Because so often in our days together she wants to be the boss and I can't let her.
But, in this, in this hide & go seek game she can be the boss.
Cherishing these days.
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