We've had several things come up throughout our adoption process that we know are definitely more than coincidence. They are things that really seem too crazy to have just happened by chance. We believe they are God showing us that He's all over this story.
The past week brought two huge "only God" moments.
First, was in relation to someone who has recently become a very good friend of ours, someone who shares a heart for Africa and orphans, and she traveled to Ethiopia a few months ago and visited among other places, the orphanage where our daughter is. We've been saying, "Hey, maybe you met our girl!" but we weren't really serious because there are over 100 kids there and we didn't even know who our daughter was back then! But, last Monday after seeing our pictures, she broke down in tears and said, "Yes, I met her, she sat on my lap for a long time! We colored together!" What are the chances?!!! Right now this friend lives here in our city, we became friends recently before we even knew who our daughter was and somehow God arranged things so she held our daughter, colored with her, even, half-way around the world!! "God, you are awesome!" is about all I can say about that!
Then on Saturday we got some more pictures of our girl from our caseworker; they were some older pictures than our referral pictures that she was able to obtain from the in-country personnel. I sucked them into my computer's iPhoto so they filed in by date all mixed in with our other family pictures and the earliest picture we now have of our new daughter happened to fall right after the picture I'd taken of a book I bought for her for Christmas (of course we didn't know who she was then, but still wanted something under the tree for the little girl that felt a part of our family already). The book is "God Found Us You"!!! So, when you scroll through the month of Dec. in my iPhoto, you see the "God Found Us You" picture and then immediately after are the earliest pictures we have of our daughter in Ethiopia! Does that make a statement, or what?!!! 
Some might call these things coincidences but we believe they are sweet reminders that God is involved in every detail of this adoption! And we are so thankful for the encouragement and comfort we've gotten from seeing His fingerprints so clearly. It's like He's saying, "Don't worry, I've GOT this!"
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In the past 18 months of watching several other blogs of people adopting from Ethiopia I've noticed many blogs with frequent updates throughout the wait until they get their referral, then there is a post or 2 with all the details of The Call and then nothing for months, sometimes not even another post until the "We're Leaving for Ethiopia in 3 Days!" post. And I've always wondered what is going on during that time after referral, why do their blogs get so quiet?
Well, I'm beginning to understand.
My mind is mush right now. Complete mush.
There are a million thoughts running through my head at any given moment, but it feels near impossible to string them together in any coherent way.
I have a child on the other side of the world. A walking, talking, eating, sleeping, playing, crying child. And I can't go to her.
How is it that every day, regular life can go on?
I think if life did just stop for a few days, I'd feel better. But right now regular life is May and May to a mom with school-aged kids is the equivalent of December, maybe even more busy. End of year parties, open house, musicals, art fair, last field trips, preschool water day, elementary school field day, parent appreciation dinner, teacher end of year gifts, and swim team season is overlapping with soccer season for three crazy weeks! All combined with the usual wash, errands, cleaning up messes, and feeding people.
But at the forefront of all else that goes on, is this precious child we know only through pictures but feel certain is our daughter just the same. We are so thankful and overjoyed with the referral, to know who she is, to be able to gaze at her face in pictures any time we want! But with all that happiness comes the questions.
When can we bring her home? We have no idea, literally no idea. Could be a few months, could be several months. Halloween? Christmas? Next spring? No idea. And that's hard.
Is it wrong to get this attached, refer to her as daughter/sister when she is not legally ours yet, and with adoptions anything can change right up until the whole thing is finalized?
What do we call her? Is there a way to meld her Ethiopian name into something more pronounceable in America? Are we even pronouncing her Ethiopian name correctly? Our other 3 children all have names that begin with the same letter, shouldn't we give her a name that begins with that letter, too? The baby name books have been dug out from the way back of the bookshelf, dusted off, and combed through. Lists have been made, debates had, children consulted. We may have a verdict. But, what if she hates what we've decided? She'll likely be 3 when we bring her home and 3 year olds have been known to be opinionated! But at the same time, if you'd allowed me input into my name at age 3, it's quite likely I wouldn't be happy with that name now as a 30-something year old person!
Where should she sleep? From the photos it appears she's in a crib right now in Ethiopia at the care center, but she'll be even older when she comes home, shouldn't we just go straight to a bed? And if so, then toddler bed or regular twin bed?
When is the right time to get the bed and prepare her space? After court when we know it's official that she's ours? But, what if we get a quick embassy date and only have a few weeks between court and bringing her home, I'll likely be busy recovering from one trip to Ethiopia and preparing for another and won't have time for bed shopping or room decorating!
What is the necklace she's wearing in many of the pictures, sometimes tucked inside her dress with just a bit of its black cord showing around her neck? Was it just a freebie from other adoptive parents bringing gifts to all the kids at the care center or is it something more personal to her? With my other children I had by birth, I know every bit of their history, pretty much every item they've ever had, I know the story, where they got it, how long they've had it, how much they love it, etc. This little girl has a past, two and a half years of life (and counting) that I was no part of. There's so much I want to know about her and will probably never know. How old was she when she began walking? What was her first word? Was she a fussy baby or easy-going? Did she spit out her first taste of solid food or eagerly swallow it and reach for more? And so many more questions.
Also, there are adoption issues we now feel totally unprepared to handle. For example, along with sharing the news of our referral and showing people her pictures have come the questions about her past and the uncomfortable conversations because we don't want to share information that is very personal and painful to our daughter, a story of great loss. But what is okay to say? We thought we had this all figured out, decided even, before we got our referral, but now with her real story it feels different.
To illustrate what all that crazy swirling around in your head can do to a person:
My husband and I traveled out of town for a few days last week to attend some optional adoption training offered by our agency (my husband's parents came into town to keep our kids). In our defense we attempted to pack light so we wouldn't have to check bags on the plane, which is a challenge for us over-packers, but upon our late-night arrival to our hotel we realized he'd forgotten his razor and I'd forgotten my toothbrush, so the next morning he shaved with the razor I use on my legs and I used his toothbrush! Too much information? Perhaps, but it gets better. We went by a store before heading back to our hotel after the first day of training and got a few things we needed, but I forgot to buy a toothbrush!!
Now that I'm back to using my own toothbrush again, I'm hoping to get back to regular blogging (although after this rambling, long-winded post many of you may wish I'd just be quiet until we're heading to Ethiopia!). If anything maybe I can work through these thoughts as I write them, and I can attempt to record them for our sweet girl in Ethiopia to see someday when she is older because we really do believe one day she will be home with us!
Thank you for bearing with me, for being a sounding board, for your encouragement and prayers!
More of the story of The Call. . .
When the phone rang last Friday at 3:45 pm, no way did I expect it to be The Call (and yes, I do believe you have to capitalize that term) we'd been waiting on for nearly 13 months!! In fact, by about 1PM I was like, "Okay, so today's obviously not going to be the day and that means this week has not been the week and now we have to wait out the weekend."
I was busy with my kids and when the phone rang I had to scramble to get it, I saw the number was from our adoption agency's area code and I answered it but still I didn't really think it was The Call! After initial hellos, our caseworker said, "I hear you guys are coming for the training next week and I wanted to make sure I got to see you while you were here." I made small talk with her about the training while opening a snack for one child and cutting a "too scratchy" tag out of the swimsuit of another child (I really think I was babbling incoherently) when in my head all I could think was, "Please don't let that be the only reason you're calling!!!"
Then she finally got to, "There's another reason I'm calling . . ."
And I just about fainted thinking, is this really it are we finally going to know who the little girl is we're going to adopt?!!
When she told me she had our referral ready, I didn't ask her anything about the child, yet, because my husband and I had already decided if at all possible we wanted to find out her age together. Since my husband was at work, I asked if we could call her back and would she be in the office. She gave me the direct number to call her back and I'm so glad I repeated it back to her because I'd written it down wrong my hand was shaking so much!
I called my husband and he agreed to come home so we could be together to get the news and see the pictures. I began flying around my house like a crazy person saying random things to my kids and wildly rubbing sunscreen on them. I dropped my older two kids off at swim team practice and then came back home, started a movie for my little one, then my husband drove up and we called our caseworker back.
She said, "Okay I'm hitting send."
And my email in-box churned for what felt like at least 90 minutes but in reality was about 1 minute. I have no doubt I hit refresh about 120 times during that 1 minute!! And then it was there! The first email introducing our new daughter with about 12 photos attached! Then there was another email with many attachments with medical info, etc., etc. We talked through all the attachments with our caseworker for about 30 minutes. And I have to say, the whole experience is just about as surreal as anything I can imagine! But yet, my husband and I both had complete peace at saying "yes" right away without taking any time to think about it or discuss amongst ourselves, even though we were told we could have several days!
It may sound crazy, but it was instantly there, this bond we feel with our new little girl. I told my husband later that night before we went to bed and were staring at the pictures we'd printed out, "She looks really familiar to me for some reason, like she reminds me of someone, but I can't think of who." I still haven't thought of anyone she reminds me of, I really just believe she looks familiar to me because God intended us to be together all along.
My mind is a whirlwind of crazy, so I'm sure this blog post is incoherent at best, but I'll wrap up with telling the kids. It was late evening before we could tell them because my husband had some key work stuff he had to finish, so he went back up to work and ended up staying late to make up for the time he was home in the afternoon, and we wanted to both be there when the kids heard the news (they knew we'd gotten our referral, but just didn't know her age, yet and hadn't seen the pics.).
We hooked up the computer to the TV to show the pictures really big and the three kids gathered in front of the screen. I'll never forget my oldest son's reaction, upon seeing the very first picture he smiled huge, raised both his arms, and cheered, "Yay!!!!"
Makes me cry just writing about it!
My 3 year old (who is now 4 -- it's been a busy last few days!) said, "She's as cute as Madeline!" Madeline is our new puppy. We may or may not tell the little sister someday what he said. But for the record, our puppy is pretty cute!!
My 5 year old daughter was rather quiet so I asked what she thought, and she asked, "Is she a baby?" and I said, "Well, more of a toddler, but she'll always be your baby sister because she'll always be younger than you. And, this way maybe she can share a room with you right away, she may not even be sleeping in a crib when she comes home." My 5 year old was very pleased with the idea of sharing a room with the new sister (she's always wanted someone to share her room with, like the boys share a room)!
Then all then kids began asking about how we'd teach her English so we talked a bit about how someone learns a language. I said, "Just like you guys learned, you can help her learn. Like you can pick up a ball, show her and say, "ball" and that's how she'll learn. Then my 5 year old, being too smart for me, said, "Well how will she ever learn to say 'hi' and 'bye'?" You know because "hi" is not a thing you can show someone! Thank you kindergarten for teaching the concept of a noun!
Anyway, the kids are very excited to help her learn English and I'm afraid she's going to be bombarded by too many eager teachers when she comes home! The 30 children she's living with in her specific house of the care center may seem quiet compared to her 3 siblings!
Okay, I was going to do a longer post, but I'm completely worn out, so there will be at least a part 3 (and possibly 4 or 5) to the referral story.
But, I don't want to leave you hanging any longer about her age! The big unknown we've had since going on the wait list requesting a girl anywhere in the 0-30 month range:
She's 30 months old! A perfect two and a half!
She's adorable with beautiful eye lashes and a really sweet smile (All along I'd prepared myself that when we got the referral and saw the first pictures of our daughter she may not be smiling because I'd seen solemn referral pictures from other people who had very smiley kids once they got them home! But she is smiling in a few of the pics!).
It took about 25 minutes after hanging up the phone with our caseworker for the surreal to wear off and with that came the momma bear feeling of "I want her home!"
We love her already and are daring to pray for the huge miracle that we get a court date before the Ethiopian courts close for the rainy season from early August until early October. If it doesn't happen (and it is really, really a long shot), God is still good, and His ways are not our ways, they are better than anything we could dream for ourselves! Three years ago if you'd told me I'd be staring at a picture right now of a 2.5 year old Ethiopian girl that it took my husband and I about .5 seconds to say "Yes! We don't need days to decide. We want her as our daughter!" I would have said that's crazy, but again, God's plans! We know God can do big things and even wants us to ask Him for big things, so we are daring to pray for a court date this summer!
Just wanted to do a quick post to let everyone know we got our adoption referral call today at around 3:45 PM. A very crazy time of day considering all 3 of my kids were talking to me at once and I was getting 2 of them ready for swimming. But, we are so excited and really the whole thing seems very surreal right now!
My husband came home from work and I dropped off kids at swimming, asking another mom friend to watch them for me, and then we called our caseworker back and got to see the pictures and hear all the info. they have on her.
We want to share the information on her age with our other children and family before we share it here, so come back later to get the details (sorry we can't post photos, though, but she's absolutely precious)! I just know from personal experience it is wonderful to hear as soon as possible that someone got a referral!
The tornado news and the adoption news is just too depressing to write about tonight, although both are constantly in my prayers right now, I'm going to focus for this post on the lighter sides of life!
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Just so you know, I will not be getting up in the middle of the night to watch the royal wedding.
But, I did for a few seconds think about setting my DVR to record it and then I remembered I don't have a DVR anymore.
We canceled our cable a year ago and with it went the DVR. And do you know what? This is honestly the FIRST TIME in the entire last 12 months that I've wanted to DVR something and not been able to. How is that possible? Because I have zero shows I watch! Zero.
And I'm not really even disappointed about missing the royal wedding. I'm sure there will be enough clips floating around the internet to more than satisfy the 45 seconds of attention span I have for the big event.
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Speaking of celebrities, I saw Wonder Woman in person last week. And can I just ask, "What's up with the skimpy outfit?" Maybe it's because I had my 3 children with me that I was more sensitive to it, but wouldn't it be easier to fight all those bad guys in, I don't know, yoga pants?!!! 
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If I have to dig one more plastic Easter egg out of my puppy's mouth I think I'm going to go completely nuts. Seriously, it's been a busy week and we got home late last Sunday, so the kids hadn't even opened all their eggs and have been gradually doing so all week, but the very second one falls on the floor (And those eggs? They roll!), Madeline the puppy is on it and she takes off running with the egg as if it is a fine prize. I have to catch her, pry open her clamped tight mouth and dig the slobbery egg out before she crunches it and swallows some sharp pieces. So, first on tomorrow's agenda is definitely to get rid of all the eggs!
My kids, the little packrats that they are, have deemed a few of the cooler plastic eggs (like the ones that look like sports balls) treasures they want to keep forever in an "egg museum". My oldest even has plans to charge admission for people to come visit the egg museum. So, there are going to be some unhappy campers when they realize all the eggs have been packed away!
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My daughter had to get an allergy shot today, and while there my 3 year old announced loudly (if you've ever been within a couple miles of my 3 year old you know he's LOUD) to the entire very crowded waiting room that he had to go poop! As I was gathering my purse and other child to take him to the restroom, I shushed him which only caused him to say in the same loud voice, "But I need to go poop!" Every eye was on me as I escorted him out to the hallway restroom. Good thing I don't have a shred of pride left. Motherhood does that to a person, doesn't it?
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Last week some asked what the going rate was that the tooth fairy pays for a tooth. Well, our tooth fairy pays $5 in gold one dollar coins for the first tooth lost and then either $1 or $2 (again in the gold coins because the tooth fairy is fancy like that!) for subsequent teeth lost. I truly can' t remember whether it was 1 or 2 dollars. And honestly, our tooth fairy is doing good to remember to show up at all. For first teeth she's pretty reliable but after that big event it's kinda dicey.
My kids have told me stories of friends at school getting $15 for a tooth from the tooth fairy. I just said, "Well, I guess their tooth was worth more than yours. Maybe they brushed it more!"
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My baby will turn four very, very soon, but for the short while he's still three I'm choosing to enjoy the fact that he refers to dessert as "bazert".
And this week has taken to whining "Mom, I'm boring."
When he really means, "Mom, I'm bored."
I'm even choosing to enjoy (although still consequencing with no ice cream after dinner) the fact that he ate half of an entire chocolate bunny (equivalent to at least one large chocolate bar) from his Easter basket without permission about 10 minutes before dinner tonight!
Want to know how I knew he'd eaten the rest of the chocolate bunny?
That face plus the disappearance of said bunny from his plastic bunny box on the shelf higher than the dog could reach!
And when I confronted him with the crime, do you know what he said?
"But two chocolate bunnies would be worser."
I didn't bother correcting the grammar, on a future day he'll learn to use the word "worse" correctly, today was the day to learn the lesson that if one eats half of a chocolate bunny without asking his mom before dinner, one will not get to eat ice cream for bazert! No, not even 31¢ ice cream!
I'm thoroughly thankful for the joy of a three year old! Even when they're terrible and annoying, they are hilarious and lovable!Find more
Thankful Thursday here.
