Family Mission Trip 2013

I know, I know.  I've been MIA around here for a while.

I've been with my husband and 2 oldest kids on a family mission trip with our church.

Where in the world did we go?

Well, not Ethiopia this time, although portions of this trip reminded us of our beloved Ethiopia and we did need our passports to travel and could NOT drink the water there.

It was a shorter plane ride, though, but to a land of great beauty:

But also great poverty:

The Dominican Republic!

(Right next to Haiti if you're geographically challenged like I am.)

This was the first ever family mission trip for our church.  Thirty-eight of us went, with exactly half, nineteen, of those being kids ranging in age from 4 years old to 17 years old.  It was a week-long trip.  There was a bit of pressure for it to be a success so it could become an annual thing, with possibly even more than 1 trip next summer for families in our church to serve.

Nobody knew exactly what to expect.  We just knew we wanted to serve and love those in need and we wanted to do it right alongside our kids.

And we did!

It was a great success, with the lady who ran the organization we served even commenting that she was worried we wouldn't get any work done with all the kids in our group, but boy was she surprised, "Your kids know how to WORK!"  she exclaimed at the end of the week.

We built desks and bookcases for a school that serves children too poor to otherwise attend school and delivered them, we built church pews, we conducted 2 medical clinics, we put on VBS two days for 2 different local churches (our team split up with half at each site), we babysat children so their parents could attend a marriage seminar, we delivered food to needy families, we ate with local families sharing our testimonies with them, we delivered supplies to an orphanage and spent about 4 hours loving on and playing with the kids there.

It was a busy, busy trip with so many stories I'll have to spread them out over a few blog posts.

But, I can say, I'm glad we went and I'm thankful to attend a church that believes in sending families on mission trips, kids and all!

Seeing our American kids serving those Dominican kids was a beautiful thing! 

And seeing the times when the cultural barriers and language barriers and socioeconomic differences melted away and the kids just played together was priceless!

So Glad we signed up!

Two years ago, right at this time, I was reflecting on the craziness of our lives.  Well, it's still crazy around here.  But, I'm so glad we signed up for it!  And thankful that God brought us through all those crazy plans from 2 years ago!

From July 25, 2011:

So, already we're heading to Africa for 10 days

with 2 of our children,

for a total of 39 hours of in-flight time round-trip,

coordinating leaving 1 child behind in the U.S. with grandparents,

for longer than we've ever left any of our children,

to meet our 4th child,

a 2 year old (nearly 3 year old) we've never seen in person before,

but fully consider her our daughter none the less.

we'll appear in an Ethiopian courtroom and tell the judge we want to adopt her.

we will visit with our little girl a total of 3 times and then have to leave without knowing when we can go back for her.

i put together a photo book for her this past Sunday,

pictures of us, her new family, that the care center staff will give to her when we are officially hers!

we will tour 3 government orphanages,

we will spend 7 nights in a guesthouse with 50 degree F nights and no heat,

and hope we're not in the unlikely 50% of people who travel to this region and get traveler's diarrhea!

this weekend we purchased a backpack and stuffed it full of all kinds of things,

including a t-shirt from our hometown football team,

held it right up to the back of the 8 year old who lives in our home,

to see if it would be the right size for another 8 year old half a world away,

the backpack, shirt and goodies are for our Compassion child that the "odds are against us" actually getting to meet during this trip,

the backpack will go to Ethiopia (along with the mounds of diapers, wipes, and hand sanitizer orphanage donations) just in case we get to see him in person.

we'll spend time with our friend in the mission field and come face to face with great need.

so, why not add to the crazy?

we've made plans to fly from the capital city, Addis Ababa, north to Mekele, the area our new daughter is from.

It's an hour and a half flight, totally do-able as a day trip, right?

Only for crazies like us!

But, to see her heritage,

the chance to fill in some missing history from her past,

to visit the orphanage where she spent a month,

talk to the nannies that cared for her then,

to get to play with the kids at that orphanage who only rarely get visitors,

and to be able to deliver to them some donations to hopefully make their lives better,

sure, why not?

sign us up!

When the odds are against you

Still reflecting on 2 years ago, from July 28, 2011:

Remember this post about how I was told "the odds are certainly against you," when calling with only 2 weeks notice instead of the required 8 weeks to set up a visit with our Compassion child we sponsor in Ethiopia?

Well, God did it! Against the odds!!

I got an email today that a visit has been arranged for the Thursday we'll be in Ethiopia! Our 8 year old Compassion boy will travel with a chaperon to the city of Addis Ababa from his home in Awassa and we will get to spend a good part of the day with him. (Some day we'd love to travel to his hometown as it is supposed to be beautiful, but the logistics were too complicated on this trip.)

I really just cannot imagine the moment when the 8 year old boy from America who lives in our home every day meets our 8 year old boy from Ethiopia who we've written, prayed for and loved for years now, but only known through letters and pictures! Like a tiny picture of heaven when we'll all be united as one family.

I spent the morning taking my mom to tour a senior day center where she may begin going during the day when her husband is at work. Her Lewy Body Demetia has progressed to a point that it is very concerning for her to be home alone. It was tough. The center was amazingly great and the staff very friendly, but despite my good intentions my mom still accused me of trying to "put her in a nursing home". My kids went with us because it was too complicated to arrange a babysitter among the other Ethiopia travel-related madness. But the kids were a huge hit, all the seniors loved them and smiled huge smiles upon seeing them. I remarked to my husband later that I think most people touring the place with a parent don't bring small children with them because once a person gets to a point of needing a senior center for their mom, their children are usually grown.

As I returned home and was able to take off the happy face I'd plastered on for my mom's benefit, I was tempted to lament, "Why? Why has this disease claimed my mom so young? Most of the people in that senior center were 15 to 20 years older than she is! Most of my friends have moms who babysit their kids and generally provide them with a lot of support and help. I, however, must not only raise my children and run my household without my mom's help, I must help her."

Oh, yes, the pity-party was coming, but then I opened my email and amid children complaining over the lunch choices, a barking dog, an irritating intermittent Internet connection, and crumbs all over the floor, there it was. The email with God's amazing answered prayer that we could meet Mathews on this first trip to Ethiopia!

And instead I must ask, "Why? Why does God care so much for me to answer this prayer that began over a year ago? How is it that He has been so faithful to very distinctly show His presence in our lives so many times?"

I am unworthy to even play a bit part in His plan, unworthy of the divine arrangements that have been made so that next week we will not only meet our new daughter for the 1st time, but our Compassion son!

You better believe there will be some serious Texas-Sized Hugs in Ethiopia next week!!!

And hopefully pictures I can share with all of you the following week but until then this blog will likely be very quiet! Everyone who is praying for us, know that it means so much! More than you pray for our safety, pray that we will be His light. I am certain we will return from Africa changed and am thanking God for that. May we never be the same!

Remembering Two Years Ago

I'm a firm believer in remembering what God has done in my life.  So, I couldn't let the end of July pass without some awe over what happened 2 years ago.  That time waiting for our court date so we could go meet our Little Girl in Ethiopia was so hard, but that call with the news of our court date was easily one of the best phone calls of my life!

From July 15, 2011:

After my whiney, I'm not patient, we-don't-know-WHEN-we-will-even-get-to-meet-our-little-girl-in-Ethiopia post last night, we got a phone call at 9:15 am this morning with our court date! And it's August 2nd!!!!! Praise God for this amazing answered prayer!

We get to meet our little girl on Monday, August 1st!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really it is more shock than screaming going on here right now.

I mean can you even believe it? We will get on a plane and head to Ethiopia in just about 2 weeks to meet our 2 year old daughter for the first time!!!!

My husband had given up hope for a before rainy season court date (for those of you who don't live and breathe Ethiopian adoption news, the courts close for about 2 months every year, this year the closure is Aug. 8th-Oct. 3rd) by this past Monday, I still had hope but have to be honest that yesterday afternoon I really began to feel down that it wasn't going to happen, that we were going to have to wait until at least October to color with our little girl.

When I saw the 817 area code pop up on the phone this morning I had no idea if I was about to hear the amazing, wonderful news that we had a court date soon, or if it was going to be the sad news that our agency was now sure that we definitely wouldn't get in before the rainy season.

Our older 2 children will be traveling with us. The timing is perfect with their school not starting until Aug. 22nd, and our little 4 year old guy is super excited about spending a week with his Nana and Papa all to himself!!!

We are so thrilled and grateful for this news!

And we have a ton to do, it will be a busy next 2 weeks with all the travel prep. added on to the week of VBS (I'm teaching, our kids are going & we're taking a neighbor girl with us) plus the homestudy update we have early next week. If anyone has any travel advice, lay it on me! We've been thinking about this trip for nearly 2 years now and read tons of blogs from people who've done it, but now that it's really us getting to make travel arrangements and get ready, I feel like I've forgotten all I thought I knew!

But I like this hurry, hurry adoption phase much better than the wait, wait, and wait some more phase!

First World Problems Again

Two years ago we were about to travel to a third world country, Ethiopia, and now we are soon headed to a different third world country on a mission trip (more on that later), so I thought it fitting to bring back the First World Problems Rap.  I love it as much today as I did then!  Perspective changes everything!


My post from June 30, 2011:

I've been talking with my 8 year old about first world problems lately. In the past couple years as we've become more aware of the acute problems so many people living in 3rd world countries face every day, it's definitely changed our perspective on many of the "problems" in our American lives.

Which is a good thing, unless you happen to be one of our children!

Real life example of what I'm talking about:

The 8 year old son needed some new jeans and one evening this week I announced that he was coming with me to the Old Navy to try some on because what with all the choices -- 8 slim, 8 regular, 10 slim, 10 regular, boot cut, skinny, loose fit -- I had no idea which ones would fit him. He immediate began the whining (remember this is a new lovely phase we're in with the 8 year old), "Do I haaavvvve to go?"

To which I responded with a very exaggerated whining routine to mimic him that went something like this: "I cannot believe I have to get in the car and drive to a store that has tons of clothes to choose from, clothes my parents can afford to buy for me, stand in a dressing room in air conditioned comfort and TRY ON some jeans! I mean, seriously, does life get any worse?!!! Nevermind the fact that there are lots of children in this world with only one set of clothing to their name. A set of clothing they didn't get the luxury of trying on to see how it fit; it doesn't matter if it's too small or too big, they wear it because it's all they have!"

I'm not really sure if my little routine changed his perspective on his life, but he was laughing by the end of it, so at least the whining was put to an end!

Then tonight after the kids were in bed I found this little gem of a YouTube video. So hilariously convicting and illustrates exactly what I've been saying (by the way my smarty 8 year old of course wanted to know who are the "second world countries" when I was explaining about 1st and 3rd world countries)! I can't wait to show this video to my 8 year old tomorrow! (Double click to view it in full screen)

A Clue That You May Have A Lot Of Kids

While we were away in Florida, we had our kitchen cabinets painted inside and out, not a new color but refreshing the old.  I am loving the fresh, clean white paint.  But, we had to empty our cabinets before we left for our trip and then guess what was waiting for me when we returned?  Not only the beautiful new looking cabinets, but my bedroom floor completely full of the kitchen cabinet contents that had to be put back.  You don't realize how much kitchen stuff you have until you have to empty the cabinets!  

But, it was a good chance to clean-out things we don't need.  I put back the stuff we used most often first and then saw how great the cabinets looked being less cluttered so I wasn't at all motivated to put back the last of the stuff and was able to more easily get rid of it!  Now I probably ought to go through that painful process in my closet -- remove everything and then just put back the stuff I really use and love.

_____________________

I caught this sweet moment this week:

My 7 year old daughter reading to her baby doll.  So, so precious!  Can I just freeze time so that she never grows up?

_____________________ 

When we had an outside gate repaired at our house a couple days ago, the repairman made a comment about "all the kids" I had and then followed it up with another comment that indicated he thought I ran a daycare out of my home.  I didn't bother to tell him, "Nope they are all my children!"  But, I'm definitely going to have to add that to my list of signs that you may have a lot of children:  "People see you with your kids and assume you are running a daycare."  Check.

Really as a mother of both white and black children I hear quite a bit and have come to realize that not everyone needs to be corrected, sometimes it's best to just smile and nod, "Uh-huh."

The It Feels Like Chaos Daycare:

_____________________ 

Happy Friday Friends!

Find more Friday Fragments here.

Our Haircare Routine for My Ethiopian Daughter

I have really hesitated to write any sort of "how-to" related to my African daughter's hair because mostly I'm still far from an expert even 19 months into caring for her hair.  I've just barely learned enough to manage.  Also, there are far better resources than me on The Internet, and I am so thankful for them, one of my favorites being the awesome blog Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care.  She has wonderful tutorials on styles and in depth reviews of products.  For example, check out this entire post dedicated to sleep caps!

But, I do have friends in the adoption process or with kids newly home ask me what we do.  Recently, a friend who brought her daughter home around the same time we did our Little Girl asked me about managing the hair because her daughter was an infant when she came home and my friend has not had to do a whole lot to her hair yet, but now that the little girl is getting older she realizes she has to start doing more.  So, since I keep composing the same email to send out to friends with our basic hair routine, I thought I'd just post it here on the blog for easier reference.

Little Girl's fantastic curls that require an entirely different type of care than my super straight, oily hair:

Here's what I sent my friend a couple weeks ago when she asked for hair help:

Oh the hair!  It is such a learning process and I'm still learning!  But, here's what we do:

Wash with conditioner only (Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose - I buy it at drugstore.com) once a week. I kinda scrub with the conditioner on then leave it on for about 10 minutes while she plays in the tub. Then I detangle her hair by combing through it with a wide-tooth comb (like this one). The detangling is pretty hard if she's had a free hair style (can take 20-25 minutes or so). If she's had braids or twists in then the detangling is pretty easy (more like 5 minutes). Wash with shampoo (Kinky Curly Brand) only about once a month and do that step before the conditioner. After detangling I rinse out the Aubrey Organics Conditioner and then pat dry her hair with an old t-shirt (towels make it more frizzy). Then I put on a leave in conditioner like Kinky Curly Knot Today Conditioner (you can buy this at Target or various places on the web) or if I'm going to do braids or twists I'll put on Shea Moisture brand Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner.

She sleeps in a sleep cap and on a satin pillowcase (probably overkill but I need all the help I can get to keep the hair nice!). And for swimming I typically convince her to wear a silicone swim cap. Also in an attempt to keep the styles nice, all the dress-up princess crowns have disappeared from our dress-up bin (a sad truth, but not as sad as snagging a style that took me over an hour to do).

If I do a style with lots of little braids, it can last several days (we've gone as long as 2 weeks before). I can even wash the hair with the braids in. I just rub conditioner on the scalp and then squeeze some through the braids with my hands and rinse. On non-wash days, if we have free hair, it takes a lot of adding moisture (like more leave-in conditioner or some oil) both at night and in the morning. I use coconut oil, sometimes, but jojoba oil seems to work best for us. For non-wash days when she has braids or twists in, I typically just have to put a little jojoba oil on the part lines once a day.

The braids and twists take a while to put in (for making part lines the pin tail comb is your friend) but they are much easier to maintain day to day. With free hair her hair gets so tangled and dry and also if she gets any sand or grass in it, then it is so hard to get out! With braids, the sand and grass and debris doesn't stick in her hair.

Here's a braid style:

And this is "free hair", otherwise known as an afro.:

That's all for now.  This topic is huge and could go on forever, but maybe if I can get to it sometime I'll post a how-to on some of our favorite styles.

Happy hair stylin'!