An Enlarged Heart

Ann from Holy Experience wrote this amazing piece where she speaks about her heart hurting.

I can relate.

The past few years as God has led the hearts of my husband and me to the orphans, the poor, and the hurting in the world, it has been a difficult journey, but through it we feel closer to God.

I feel like He's allowed us to stand in the cleft of the rock and catch just a glimpse of the back side of His heart. And I know that is all we could bear to see.

I relate to the Grinch at the end of the movie whose heart has grown three sizes because as I've discovered with fresh eyes the plight of "the least" in this world and God's great love for them and desire that His people care for them, I now care for and love hurting people on a much larger scale than before.

But, with that larger heart not only comes a greater capacity to love but also

a greater capacity to hurt for them,

a drive to want to help them,

feelings of helplessness when it is hard to figure out how,

and frustration living in a culture where most seem to spend their energy and resources creating their own comfort.

It is easier not to care.

But now that I do, what do I do?

Ann mentions the Bible verse Proverbs 31:8-9, "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, 
for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; 
defend the rights of the poor and needy." And she asks, "Is this what true women do? Work so that many make it Home?"

I love the way she put that!

And it gives new definition to my career as Home-maker. Working so that many make it Home, not just creating a home here on earth for myself, my husband, and my children.

It has been a struggle for me to figure out what I am to do, and I believe God doesn't want me to stop asking the question, but He does not want the question to keep me from the doing.

The practical, daily life steps of that doing is going to look different nearly every day.

On a particular Thursday last week it involved me getting babysitting for my own 3 kids, dealing with parking downtown, interacting with difficult lawyers, so I could spend the morning in court advocating for 2 children in CPS custody, a job I am not paid for. I went to court to present my observations and recommendations to the judge about the children, and I did, but on that day, probably the biggest difference I was able to make was to wrap an arm around their mother as she broke down in tears on the way out of the courtroom and tell her that as long as she was doing everything that was asked of her to get her kids back that I was going to help her. Help her, a young mother who grew up without a mother herself, put her life back together, create a healthy environment to raise her two precious children.

Because as much as I love adoption, children should be with their biological parents if they can provide a safe, loving home where the kids needs will be met.

And as I left the juvenile court house and walked the 8 blocks back to my car in the rain, I was thankful for the opportunity to bring a bit of Jesus to the dark parts of this world, the best therapy for an enlarged heart!

Find more Thankful Thursday here.