This afternoon when I put my toddler in two minutes of time-out (he threw a toy across the room), he decided to try out some new tactics.
The first 30 seconds he spent yelling, "But I love you Mommy! I love you!"
I ignored him.
Realizing that wasn't going to work, he switched tactics and began yelling, "I don't love you! I don't love you!"
I ignored him.
So, he saw the need to try yet another tactic. His sister had just minutes earlier gotten some attention for complaining that her leg hurt. So for his final 45 seconds in time-out he yelled, "My leg hurts! My leg hurts!"
Only in my mind did I commend his efforts!
Then there is my 4 year old daughter who has for the last several weeks been trying out a new, totally different tactic of her own.
It is the loud-and-dramatic-crying-when-she-doesn't-get-her-way tactic. She began using it on her brothers. I remember the first few times those boys were so surprised at her pitiful crying that they immediately caved and began going above and beyond to make her happy again.
But, by about the 5th or 6th time, both her big brother and her little brother didn't seem as phased by her crying outbursts. I suppose boys without sisters have to wait until they are dating to learn that girls sometimes try to control people with their tears!
Then she tried it on me.
I ignored her until the crying went on for an annoying amount of time (I think I max out around 6 or 7 minutes). And then I told her that I'd be glad to talk to her about why she was upset when she was calm, but if she still needed to cry she'd have to go to her room because it was hurting my ears. When she realized I wasn't going to cave to the tears, she quit.
I love the moments in parenting when your kids are so transparent you can see exactly what is going through their heads and you know just how to handle it. Sometimes those moments feel really rare and I am just frustrated by their behavior and at a loss as to how to handle it, so I am thankful for the times I clearly see it and for the laughs my husband and I can have at their expense after they've gone to bed!
This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge.
Check out Gratituesday & Tuesdays Unwrapped.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Teaching what I don't know
I love Not Me! Monday (a blog carnival created by MckMama) because it gives us all a chance to relate in a real, every day life kind of way. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have NOT been doing - but really have!
Around here (when I was NOT digging through the dirty laundry to retrieve my 6 year old's basketball uniform to present to him to wear as if it were clean):
I did NOT teach my toddler to go pee-pee standing up last week.
I did NOT already complain about the conditions of the bathrooms in my household with 2 people going while standing up, so there is NO WAY I'd encourage the addition of a 3rd person with less than stellar aim! NO, NOT ME!
There was NOT a point where my 2 year old son was poised standing on the stool in front of the potty with me and my 4 year old daughter in there coaching him. "Now lift up the seat like this before you go." "Point it in the potty!" "Maybe you're holding it too tight!" "Make sure it goes in the water not on the side!" "Good! Look, you're doing it!" "Are you sure that's all the pee-pee?" "Then put the seat back down." "And wash your hands!"
His sister and I do NOT expect a thank you note from his wife in about 30 years!
And I do NOT expect the therapy bills in a few years when the trauma of being coached in the bathroom by his mother and his sister come back to haunt my son!
But for now, my toddler is NOT extremely proud of his new ability and was NOT eager to show it off to his Sunday School teacher first thing when I dropped him off this morning!
Around here (when I was NOT digging through the dirty laundry to retrieve my 6 year old's basketball uniform to present to him to wear as if it were clean):
I did NOT teach my toddler to go pee-pee standing up last week.
I did NOT already complain about the conditions of the bathrooms in my household with 2 people going while standing up, so there is NO WAY I'd encourage the addition of a 3rd person with less than stellar aim! NO, NOT ME!
There was NOT a point where my 2 year old son was poised standing on the stool in front of the potty with me and my 4 year old daughter in there coaching him. "Now lift up the seat like this before you go." "Point it in the potty!" "Maybe you're holding it too tight!" "Make sure it goes in the water not on the side!" "Good! Look, you're doing it!" "Are you sure that's all the pee-pee?" "Then put the seat back down." "And wash your hands!"
His sister and I do NOT expect a thank you note from his wife in about 30 years!
And I do NOT expect the therapy bills in a few years when the trauma of being coached in the bathroom by his mother and his sister come back to haunt my son!
But for now, my toddler is NOT extremely proud of his new ability and was NOT eager to show it off to his Sunday School teacher first thing when I dropped him off this morning!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Adoption is certainly not labor-free!
Remember this post I wrote last weekend? Praise God, Ronel is home! Just tonight! He is not an orphan in Haiti any more!
If you didn't read the backstory, you should, you totally should! God writes better stories than Hollywood! The image of Ernest Parker leaving his comfortable home in Houston to fly to earthquake ravaged Haiti to rescue the son he had been in the process of adopting and sleeping on the embassy floor with 8 year old Ronel for over a week fighting for that boy, assuring him he wouldn't leave without him . . . Well, I can't help thinking it is probably as close an earthly picture as you can get of how God loves us, adopts us, rescues us, never leaves us and redeems our lives from the rubble! And if you were part of the media/technology blitz, it worked! Twitter tweets, emails, phone calls all went out to tons of government and news officials on behalf of this family to the point that officials told them they were so tired of hearing about them that they wanted them out of Haiti!
And now 7 updates on our adoption from Ethiopia:
- We finished all the paperwork required by our agency, passed our homestudy and are officially approved by Gladney!
- We have been working on our dossier that will be sent over to Ethiopia for about 6 weeks. A dossier is a whole 'nother bunch of documents that all have to be notarized and then authenticated 5 times (not kidding). We are using a service that is helping us compile all the paperwork and get it authenticated. We did finally get that bank letter I complained about a couple weeks ago, but only because a friend knew someone high up at the bank that got us some special attention. Now we've moved on to other headaches! But as hard as the process is, at least I don't have to gain 20 to 40 lbs and experience all the discomforts of pregnancy and childbirth to bring this child into our family!
- We sent in our fingerprints for FBI clearance Dec. 27th and are currently waiting on those results. Also, we're waiting on our appointment to be fingerprinted for CIS (Citizenship & Immigration Services) who will (after getting our fingerprints) then issue us approval to bring an adopted child into the country. We hope to have all this in the next couple months and then be on the official waitlist.
- We are requesting a girl age 0 to 30 months. Since there is more of a demand for infants, we are expecting she will be in the older end of that range. The average wait time before a referral (when you are matched with a specific child) for a child over 12 months old with our agency is 4 months (for children 0-12 months it is 8 months).
- Once you accept the referral you wait 1-2 months to get a court date which is then usually 1 month or so later. You do not travel to Ethiopia for court, but are represented by a lawyer from the agency. Once you pass (it is rather common for the judge to order additional paperwork on the child and that could delay things by a couple months) court then you travel to pick up the child 3-6 weeks after passing court. Ethiopia only requires adoptive parents to make the 1 trip to the country and the stay in country is about a week.
- I am a planner and would love to be able to pinpoint an exact date when we will bring our new daughter home, but as you can see, that is impossible (Did I mention also that the Ethiopian courts close for about 6 weeks in the early fall for the rainy season? So nobody clears court during that time.), rather I have a range of some time in the next 14 months, most likely late 2010.
- We are trusting God's timing. His plans are always better than ours!
If you didn't read the backstory, you should, you totally should! God writes better stories than Hollywood! The image of Ernest Parker leaving his comfortable home in Houston to fly to earthquake ravaged Haiti to rescue the son he had been in the process of adopting and sleeping on the embassy floor with 8 year old Ronel for over a week fighting for that boy, assuring him he wouldn't leave without him . . . Well, I can't help thinking it is probably as close an earthly picture as you can get of how God loves us, adopts us, rescues us, never leaves us and redeems our lives from the rubble! And if you were part of the media/technology blitz, it worked! Twitter tweets, emails, phone calls all went out to tons of government and news officials on behalf of this family to the point that officials told them they were so tired of hearing about them that they wanted them out of Haiti!
And now 7 updates on our adoption from Ethiopia:
- We finished all the paperwork required by our agency, passed our homestudy and are officially approved by Gladney!
- We have been working on our dossier that will be sent over to Ethiopia for about 6 weeks. A dossier is a whole 'nother bunch of documents that all have to be notarized and then authenticated 5 times (not kidding). We are using a service that is helping us compile all the paperwork and get it authenticated. We did finally get that bank letter I complained about a couple weeks ago, but only because a friend knew someone high up at the bank that got us some special attention. Now we've moved on to other headaches! But as hard as the process is, at least I don't have to gain 20 to 40 lbs and experience all the discomforts of pregnancy and childbirth to bring this child into our family!
- We sent in our fingerprints for FBI clearance Dec. 27th and are currently waiting on those results. Also, we're waiting on our appointment to be fingerprinted for CIS (Citizenship & Immigration Services) who will (after getting our fingerprints) then issue us approval to bring an adopted child into the country. We hope to have all this in the next couple months and then be on the official waitlist.
- We are requesting a girl age 0 to 30 months. Since there is more of a demand for infants, we are expecting she will be in the older end of that range. The average wait time before a referral (when you are matched with a specific child) for a child over 12 months old with our agency is 4 months (for children 0-12 months it is 8 months).
- Once you accept the referral you wait 1-2 months to get a court date which is then usually 1 month or so later. You do not travel to Ethiopia for court, but are represented by a lawyer from the agency. Once you pass (it is rather common for the judge to order additional paperwork on the child and that could delay things by a couple months) court then you travel to pick up the child 3-6 weeks after passing court. Ethiopia only requires adoptive parents to make the 1 trip to the country and the stay in country is about a week.
- I am a planner and would love to be able to pinpoint an exact date when we will bring our new daughter home, but as you can see, that is impossible (Did I mention also that the Ethiopian courts close for about 6 weeks in the early fall for the rainy season? So nobody clears court during that time.), rather I have a range of some time in the next 14 months, most likely late 2010.
- We are trusting God's timing. His plans are always better than ours!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
I'm loving my shorter grocery list!
Over the past year I've made it a goal to live more simply and basically, especially getting away from processed foods when possible.
I knew it would save money and be a healthier option for my family, but some benefits I didn't anticipate are shorter grocery lists and easier shopping trips. When I'm just buying basics like flour, eggs, and milk there are several aisles I can skip all together! Also, I love that my pantry is less cluttered without all the mixes and prepackaged stuff!
13 things I no longer buy:
Find more Thankful Thursday & Thursday Thirteen & Works for Me Wednesday.
I knew it would save money and be a healthier option for my family, but some benefits I didn't anticipate are shorter grocery lists and easier shopping trips. When I'm just buying basics like flour, eggs, and milk there are several aisles I can skip all together! Also, I love that my pantry is less cluttered without all the mixes and prepackaged stuff!
13 things I no longer buy:
- Paper napkins - switched to cloth, I do laundry nearly every day anyway, so it's no trouble to throw them in with a load. I'm using white ones we already had and bleach them every now and the then.
- Sandwich bread - making my own bread now, like this recipe and this one
- Pop tarts - the kids always asked for them at breakfast but ate less than half most days, I just quit buying them and after a couple days nobody even missed them! I usually have homemade muffins, hard-boiled eggs, bagels etc. if they want something to go with their cereal.
- Hamburger buns - if you try this recipe you'll never be able to go back to the store bought!
- Hot chocolate - so easy to make your own mix
- Cake mix, brownie mix, muffin mix - cheaper and not much harder to make from scratch
- Icing/frosting in a tub - so easy and yummy to make your own!
- Microwave popcorn - Did you know it takes the same amount of time to make it from the kernels on the stove?
- Pre-sweetened adult yogurt (I haven't yet weaned the kids off their squeeze yogurt) - I buy the large tub of plain organic yogurt and sweeten it at home with this recipe.
- Pre-made pizza crust - Love this recipe to make it from scratch, but substitute wheat flour for half the white flour.
- Hummus - it is so expensive to buy this pre-made; use this recipe
- Wheat crackers - gotta love a 5 ingredient recipe (and 1 of those ingredients is water!)
- Shredded cheddar cheese - it tastes much better and is usually cheaper to buy the block and shred it yourself!
Find more Thankful Thursday & Thursday Thirteen & Works for Me Wednesday.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Doesn't chocolate cure everything?
A couple months ago my 4 year old was complaining that her tummy hurt, so I let her stay home from school. She was still fairly active and bouncy so I wondered about just how sick she really was, but there was a time over a year ago when I sent a child of mine to Sunday School when he was acting very bouncy but complaining his tummy hurt. Let's just say I learned my lesson when they called my husband's cell phone mid-way through to come get him because he was throwing up.
But with my daughter this time, my she's-really-not-sick suspicions were confirmed mid-morning when she came running over to me with a large Hershey's bar exclaiming, "This will make my tummy feel better!!!"
I just had to snap a picture to document her cure for tummy troubles!
Find more Wordless or Wordful Wednesday.
On Blogging
Today's Works for Me Wednesday has a theme this week: blogging tips. And I am pretty much no help.
I've been blogging for just over a year and there are still so many aspects of it that I am clueless about.
I wrote this on my blog last year, "There is a lot to learn about this blog world -- del.icio.us, comments, memes, carnivals, RSS feeds, widgets, gadgets, trackback, ping, permalink -- ya'll it's more chaos than even my home!"
And it is pitiful to report that I still have not had time to figure out some of those things, but the good news and my encouragement to newbie bloggers is that you can still blog without knowing all that stuff.
A big question I get is how do I find the time to blog, so here comes the answer . . .
I watch almost no TV.
(Lost is an exception and yes, it starts back tonight so I have got to get off the blog and on the DVR!)
Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, The Bachelor, The Office? Have all passed me by! Occasionally I'll hear people make references to the popular shows and I just stare blankly.
In the evenings instead of unwinding with an hour of TV that leaves me feeling rather unfulfilled, I write and read what other people write. I love the memories I've captured for myself and my kids on my blog. I love the people I've connected with through blogs. I can honestly say the blog world has made me a better homemaker.
I've learned to meal plan better, bake my own bread, schedule my day, repurpose, organize, sew a little, and laugh a lot at situations that might otherwise make you cry.
I've learned that I am not alone. I see other moms every day at my kids' schools, activities, etc. but when our kids are around it is hard to share more than half a sentence much less an entire story or lament about the 3 week old bag of grapes I found in the back of my SUV! But I read your stories and am so comforted that I am not alone in what goes on in my mom world. Just today Beth blogged about a poop incident and I can so empathize!
I've been blogging for just over a year and there are still so many aspects of it that I am clueless about.
I wrote this on my blog last year, "There is a lot to learn about this blog world -- del.icio.us, comments, memes, carnivals, RSS feeds, widgets, gadgets, trackback, ping, permalink -- ya'll it's more chaos than even my home!"
And it is pitiful to report that I still have not had time to figure out some of those things, but the good news and my encouragement to newbie bloggers is that you can still blog without knowing all that stuff.
A big question I get is how do I find the time to blog, so here comes the answer . . .
I watch almost no TV.
(Lost is an exception and yes, it starts back tonight so I have got to get off the blog and on the DVR!)
Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, The Bachelor, The Office? Have all passed me by! Occasionally I'll hear people make references to the popular shows and I just stare blankly.
In the evenings instead of unwinding with an hour of TV that leaves me feeling rather unfulfilled, I write and read what other people write. I love the memories I've captured for myself and my kids on my blog. I love the people I've connected with through blogs. I can honestly say the blog world has made me a better homemaker.
I've learned to meal plan better, bake my own bread, schedule my day, repurpose, organize, sew a little, and laugh a lot at situations that might otherwise make you cry.
I've learned that I am not alone. I see other moms every day at my kids' schools, activities, etc. but when our kids are around it is hard to share more than half a sentence much less an entire story or lament about the 3 week old bag of grapes I found in the back of my SUV! But I read your stories and am so comforted that I am not alone in what goes on in my mom world. Just today Beth blogged about a poop incident and I can so empathize!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Seriously Specific Signs!
Last fall when we began the process to adopt a child from Ethiopia, one of the hardest aspects for us was the idea of telling our family.
My husband and I both grew up in families of two kids, a boy and a girl. So even just announcing when we were pregnant with our 3rd child was a little weird, and we did get the occasional, "You guys already have a son and a daughter, why have another one?" But, now we were breaking the news that not only were we trying for a 4th child, but we were. . .
adopting this one . . .
from Ethiopia!
One day during this early-adoption-process phase before we'd told anyone besides our kids and our adoption agency, my husband and I were driving with our children to a function a little over an hour north of our home. While in the car we were discussing the idea of telling people about the adoption and debating how we thought certain people would respond.
We were unsure of exactly the right exit to take off the freeway and got off too soon but we couldn't get back on, instead we found ourselves following a complicated detour due to some road construction. We were still talking, but I was also intently monitoring each residential street we passed to try to see if we could use it to escape the detour and get back to the main road easier.
At this point and for a several minutes prior we had been talking specifically about my husband's parents and how we thought they'd take the news of our plans to adopt.
And then it happened.
We passed a street with the same name as his mother's first name.
And the very next street had the same name as his father!
Seriously! I couldn't make this stuff up.
What are the chances that while we are worrying about how my husband's parents will take the news of our adoption, we would pass streets with their names, one right after the other?!!
Only God!
He is so involved in our lives that even details like street names are not too small for Him to speak through.
I love the verse, Isaiah 49:16, "Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me."
To me this means that God cares so specifically for each of us that our names (my name and yours) are inscribed in the palm of His hands and our issues (walls) are always at the forefront of His concern.
Do I believe that God spoke to us that day through a wrong exit, a detour, and street signs to assure us that He was with us on this adoption journey? Yes, absolutely! And my husband's parents? Took the news beautifully!
For His presence in the extraordinary and ordinary moments of my day-to-day life, I am so grateful!
This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge.
Check out Gratituesday & Tuesdays Unwrapped.
My husband and I both grew up in families of two kids, a boy and a girl. So even just announcing when we were pregnant with our 3rd child was a little weird, and we did get the occasional, "You guys already have a son and a daughter, why have another one?" But, now we were breaking the news that not only were we trying for a 4th child, but we were. . .
adopting this one . . .
from Ethiopia!
One day during this early-adoption-process phase before we'd told anyone besides our kids and our adoption agency, my husband and I were driving with our children to a function a little over an hour north of our home. While in the car we were discussing the idea of telling people about the adoption and debating how we thought certain people would respond.
We were unsure of exactly the right exit to take off the freeway and got off too soon but we couldn't get back on, instead we found ourselves following a complicated detour due to some road construction. We were still talking, but I was also intently monitoring each residential street we passed to try to see if we could use it to escape the detour and get back to the main road easier.
At this point and for a several minutes prior we had been talking specifically about my husband's parents and how we thought they'd take the news of our plans to adopt.
And then it happened.
We passed a street with the same name as his mother's first name.
And the very next street had the same name as his father!
Seriously! I couldn't make this stuff up.
What are the chances that while we are worrying about how my husband's parents will take the news of our adoption, we would pass streets with their names, one right after the other?!!
Only God!
He is so involved in our lives that even details like street names are not too small for Him to speak through.
I love the verse, Isaiah 49:16, "Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me."
To me this means that God cares so specifically for each of us that our names (my name and yours) are inscribed in the palm of His hands and our issues (walls) are always at the forefront of His concern.
Do I believe that God spoke to us that day through a wrong exit, a detour, and street signs to assure us that He was with us on this adoption journey? Yes, absolutely! And my husband's parents? Took the news beautifully!
For His presence in the extraordinary and ordinary moments of my day-to-day life, I am so grateful!
This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge.
Check out Gratituesday & Tuesdays Unwrapped.
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