Nearly 10 Months Waiting

The email today was not what I'd hoped when I saw the subject line. The "update" was not an announcement that the roadblock holding back our adoption and many others was cleared, but rather an update that there was no new news.

This weekend will mark 10 months waiting for her. That number is about double what we were expecting going into the adoption wait, since we were willing to adopt a child a bit older than an infant.

It's basketball season for my oldest and I remember back to this season last year and thinking that the next year I'd be entertaining three younger siblings on the sidelines, imagining she'd be home by now. The missing someone who's never been here is so hard to describe.

My children make a worm family out of this playdough molding type stuff we have. "It is our family", they tell me, "here's the biggest one, he's the daddy, and this is you, the mommy." As, they point out their 3 worm-selves, I'm counting in my head. One, two, three, four, five, six worms? Before I can say anything they point to one of the small worms and deem it the, "Baby Sister".

Their faith amazes me! We've talked about the "Baby Sister" for so long, but she has not come. We don't even have a picture of her to cling to. I can't believe they still see our family as a family of six, that "Baby Sister" worm just as tangibly there as the other five worms.

And I must admit that their faith is bigger than mine.

Because some days, especially lately, I find myself wondering if it will ever even happen at all.

But isn't that what faith is?

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Heb. 11:1

This much I'm sure of, without a doubt:

God is good.

He is in control.

He has a plan.

His plans are always better than ours.

And for our family, and so many others waiting, I really do believe God gave us a heart for adoption, led us to this very path for a reason and He is going to use it to bring Him glory.

I don't know how this is all going to play out for any of us, but I'm believing God that His glory will be the end result.

And, I would even be willing to bet that God is going to use this season of waiting, the raw anguish of it, to lead to unimaginable joy.

Because that's what He does. He's all about amazing transformations. Beauty from ashes, Paul from Saul, wine from water, resurrected Lord from a body sealed in a tomb, beloved child of God from undeserving sinner.

Lord, I have no idea what our family will look like 10 more months from now, and can't even begin to fathom 10 years out, but that's okay because I don't need to know. I know that we are Yours and that is enough.

Find more Thankful Thursday here.