Hip-Hip Hooray

Many have asked me this year how Little Girl is doing in kindergarten.

And I have to admit that I, too, looked to the milestone of her starting kindergarten with some worry.  Worry that she'd be too far behind the other kids since she just began speaking English as a 3 year old.  Worry that some of her personality quirks learned from life in an orphanage would play out badly at school.  Worry that her hyperness and loudness would no longer be as precious as it was in preschool but become annoying and problematic.

BUT, as she tends to do, my little Ethiopian has BLOWN US AWAY with how well she's done in her kindergarten class!

One huge key to her success is the behavior chart system that our elementary school uses.  Each child begins each day on Green or "Ready to Go!" and they move up or down the chart according to their behavior.  Well, thankfully Little Girl is even MORE competitive than she is loud or active.  And she wants to be at the top of that chart (the "Hip-Hip Hooray" level) and can amazingly reign in her behavior to get there.  

This past week she even earned the "Hip-Hip Hooray" level every day of the week, and was the first child from her class to achieve that this whole school year!  Her class did a big cheer for her which she totally ate up and her teacher is making her an official "Star Student".

Here she is, proudly showing off her chart:

Rock on Little Girl; you are awesome and amazing!!!!

My 6 Year Old Has A Dream

I shared last week that my 6 year old daughter, who we adopted from an orphanage in Ethiopia at age 3, had been learning about Martin Luther King, Jr. at school.

Today she brought home some work she did last week.  It took my breath away.

Her dream "that all children in the orphanage would be adopted." is beautiful and heart-breaking coming from a child who remembers life in an orphanage!

I looked at that schoolwork with her dream at about 4:45pm today, then at 6pm I checked my email and I had an email from our adoption agency notifying all their Ethiopia adoptive families that they are closing down their Ethiopia adoption program due to too many roadblocks created by the Ethiopian government to stop international adoptions amid rhetoric by officials that Ethiopian children should stay in Ethiopia.

I want Ethiopian children to stay in Ethiopia, too, if at all possible, but not at the cost of growing up in an orphanage or worse, on the streets!

Praise God our little girl is home, but it makes me so sad for Ethiopian orphans left behind, children who could have had hope for a family and now will likely grow up without one.  Will you join me in praying for the orphans in Ethiopia?

Joining Hands

Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream that  "little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers."

In some ways, I am living that dream, every day in my own home.  It is a privilege I do not take lightly.

But, walking that out, is tricky at times.  As a mother to both white and black children, I want so much for their skin color not to matter, but then I see how sometimes it does.  And the most compassionate thing is not ignoring that reality or saying it isn't a thing, but empathizing with it.

Last week I got an email from my daughter's kindergarten teacher, one that went out to all the parents about what the kids would be learning that week.  When I saw they were "learning all about Martin Luther King," I sucked in my breath, my stomach kind of flopped, and my palms began to sweat.  Not at all because I didn't want them to learn about Martin Luther King, Jr., I've played the speeches for my kids at home, we read books about the civil rights movement, and talk freely about skin color.  My 3 older kids have all learned about MLK at this public school.  But, my older 3 kids are white and it feels different when they learn about the civil rights movement than when my youngest daughter, who is black, learns about the civil rights movement.

The difference is that when my white children hear the message of MLK, I believe (and hope) they hear that you should not judge anyone based on the color of their skin, but rather the content of their character.  But, when my black daughter hears the message of MLK, I fear that she will hear that there was a time not so long ago in our country when people with her skin color were seen as less than because of the color of their skin.  And they had to fight for the right to be treated like everyone else.  Which, of course, makes me worried that she will then begin to feel less than.

We've not focused so much (or at all) yet on slavery or other more hideous aspects of black history with our 6 year old daughter and although I know she will have to know some day, as her mom, my desire is to shelter her from that.

I met up today with a friend who is white and raising a black son, she had just seen the movie Selma, which I have not yet seen.  I shared with her my fears about what my daughter was picking up on from black history lessons and she nodded, sucked in her breath in a way I know so well, and confessed that she is glad her son doesn't fully understand it all right now.  It made me feel less crazy to see my feelings echoed in another mama who is living the dream.

The Martin Luther King, Jr. teaching seems to have been done very well for my kindergartener, focusing mostly on that he wanted children of all skin colors to work and play together in peace, rather than just focusing on black people as the marginalized group.

And today, my 6 year old daughter was reciting parts of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s I Have A Dream speech to anyone who would listen!

So, we're going to keep walking this thing out, with compassion for people of all skin colors, praying for change, and doing whatever we can to be the change we'd like to see in the world.

Cutting down our Christmas tree as a family only looks idyllic in the pictures!

We embarked on our annual family exhibition to cut down a Christmas tree this past Saturday.

 Our 9 year old daughter fell in love with a certain tree we worried would be too tall for our living room ceiling.  Literally there were tears, TEARS, over not getting that tree she wanted!  Really, the ridiculousness of it is still amazing to me now 3 days later!

Lest the pictures fool you into thinking it was an idyllic day, just know that we began the outing with a 15 minute lecture right there standing in the parking lot of the Christmas tree farm, to address bad behavior from all 4 kids that had gone on that morning.  And mid-way through our quest for the perfect tree I may have said we'd never do this again -- I mean an entire farm worth of trees and we couldn't all agree on one!  

The 11 year old perfectly illustrating my feelings:

Then there was the colossal fit Little Girl threw in the play area that caused my husband to carry her out screaming to the car.  He later told me he kept waiting for the police to come question him for kidnapping.  We worried about that a lot when Little Girl first came to us and was throwing fits often and we were hyper aware of not matching like typical parents and children, since we are white and she is black.  But, praise God, the fits got better and I haven't thought much about being accused of kidnapping my own child in a long time.  Hopefully that Christmas tree farm fit was isolated and not the beginning a new pattern!

So, just keeping it real, and telling the back story behind the pictures, but at the end of the day we did go home with a tree that we cut down, the kids had some fun, hopefully lessons were learned, and we are a family.  We hang together through the messy and the beautiful!

You know I have a black daughter, right?

There has been so much talk of Ferguson these past few days since the verdict came out and I was inundated with news coverage while at a certain relative's house over Thanksgiving who had the Fox News going non-stop.  I've heard too many opinions on Ferguson from white people.  So, honestly I've struggled with if I should even write about this, but I just can't let it go.

I will try to be brief.

I do not know what really happened the day Mike Brown died.  I am not pointing fingers or taking sides.

But, I can tell you the whole thing feels different when you are the parent of a black child.  Really different.

I know what it feels like to parent white children and now for three years since we adopted our youngest, I am learning what it feels like to parent a black child.

It shouldn't be all that different, right?  Well, except for hair and skin care.  Only, unfortunately, there are things that ARE different because of the way others may judge my black child.

For example, when I just parented white children, it never occurred to me to coach them on what to do if approached by the police.  "Police are your friends, they are your helpers, the safe people," is probably what I said.  And I never thought about going over with my kids about how to conduct themselves in department stores when they are old enough to shop without me.  Things like, "don't put your hands in your pockets," "don't carry a large purse," "always have your receipt with you for things you've bought," "do not dig around in your purse while in the middle of a store."  Because I do not follow those rules myself.

The hard reality that the world may judge my two precious daughters, who decked out in princess attire just yesterday, differently, possibly assuming negative things about my Ethiopian daughter just because she is black, is heartbreaking!  But, it is a reality for her, and thus me, as her mom.

Racism is still a problem in our country.  I recently got a comment from a white person that caused my head to spin around and the only thing I could think to say was, "You know I have a black daughter, right?"

So many people have spoken their minds but I say, don't be so quick to speak your opinions on Ferguson, instead, look within yourself to see if you are in any way part of the problem and find a way to love.

I love the example the 12 year old boy in this picture (click link) gives to the rest of us!

And, in the spirit of developing empathy, here are black moms sharing with white moms about the race talk.

We have a lot to learn!  May God give us wisdom and compassion!

The Ultimate 1st World Problem -- My Dog Groomer is Booked Until January!

The week has flown by, and Saturday is November, which is all kinds of crazy!

______________________

One evening this week while working at my volunteer job as a court appointed special advocate for children in state protective custody, I sat next to a 13 year old girl on the couch in her foster home and she told me in a tone of voice I don't think I'll ever forget, "I just want to be adopted."

It broke my heart into a million pieces!  I am now working to change the situation for this sweet girl and her younger brother, to find them a home where they will be loved, treasured, a place where they can heal from the pain of their past.

______________________

I drove home sadly reflecting on how much children need a family and how the foster home where these two children are placed was meeting their basic needs, but not loving them as a family would. Then I walked into my house to the scene of my husband carving a pumpkin with our 4 pajama-clad children.

There was mess and pumpkin guts and squealing and one brother wiping pumpkin goo on a sister's arm and arguing over the name for the newly created jack-o-lantern, but it was FAMILY!  We were all known and loved and messy and loud, and that's what I want for these 2 children on my case.

______________________ 

In happier news than children without parents, Madeline the dog got a much needed grooming this week.  You can thank me for forgetting to snap a photo before she went in and thus sparing you the vision of the "before" and allowing just the "after":

Because we let the grooming wait too long this time, when I picked up the dog I took the proactive step of scheduling her next grooming appointment and was surprised to find that even on October 29th, they are booked all the way through the first of the new year!  So we have an appointment the 2nd week in January.  Here's a truth that likely reveals something rather pathetic about the state of my life: I can call my hairstylist and get an appointment within a week, yet my dog's hair stylist books up over 2 months in advance!!  

______________________ 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!  Just imagine all the possibilities of what you can do with that extra hour "Fall Back" provides!!  My plan for that hour is lofty, indeed -- sleep!  

Guess Who Turned Six!

I can't believe it, but our Little Girl turned SIX on Monday!

We've now been able to celebrate as many birthdays with her as those we missed (since she joined our family as a three year old).  This milestone feels kind of big for me as her mom, rounding the corner so that the majority of her life is no longer an unknown, but has been with us! 

Little Girl, you are known, you are loved, and so much a part of our family that we can't imagine life without you!  Happy birthday sweet six year old!

August 1, 2011

Three years ago today, on August 1, 2011, my husband, oldest two children and I stood outside these gates in Ethiopia:

And we walked in through these orphanage door:

And met this little girl for the very first time:

Meeting your nearly 3 year old daughter for the first time in an orphanage in Ethiopia is an experience I still cannot put adequate words to.

 

Oh, the fun these 2 sisters have had over the past 3 years since this first touch!

It is hard to believe it has been 3 years since we met her.  But today at lunch as we talked about the anniversary, my 11 year old said, "It's really hard to remember life before Little Girl!"

Indeed, it is!  She is so much a part of all of us.  We wouldn't want to imagine our family without her in it!

Her Real Mom

The words came tumbling out one day a couple months ago.  I knew they would eventually.  I guess I expected to hear them in anger when I'd done something she didn't like, but that's not how it was.  There had been an intense couple weeks where my daughter, adopted as a 3 year old and now 5 years old, wanted to talk a lot about Ethiopia and began sharing more than ever before about her life before us.  During those intense few weeks, triggered by I know not what, we had several really good but hard conversations.  I was thankful for the new level of bonding, but also emotionally exhausted!

And then it came from the backseat one afternoon as I drove her to gymnastics, my 5 year old daughter said very matter-of-factly, "You know you're not my real mom."

Whoa.  Deep breath in, and out, quick prayer.  And the decision only enabled by God,"I am not going to take this personally!"

I responded in just the same matter of fact tone she had used and assured her that while I was not her birth mom, I was in fact her real mom.

We'd used those terms many times before but you never know what a child is really understanding and they process things differently at different ages.  We talked more and I truly believe she just wanted some reassurance about my role in her life.  Her comment was not intended to hurt me and it was not a reflection on my performance as a parent or our degree of bondedness, but I could have easily taken her comment any of those ways.  I could have gotten my feelings hurt and in the midst of my pity-party or anger, missed the opportunity to react in a way that nurtured my girl.

It's not easy, y'all, when you have poured so much into a child and then to hear that, but trust me, it is much better if you can repeat the mantra inside your head, "It's not personal.  It's not personal."  and then set to the business of seeing your child's heart and addressing the real reason for the real mom comment.

Hugs to all you real mamas out there!  Anybody ever seen a fake mom?

Why We Are Going Back to Ethiopia

She just HAD to wear it to her gymnastics class last week.  

The dress that was packed away in a box in the top of my closet.

The dress I agreed she could wear into gymnastics over her leotard but had to take off before the actual gymnastics began.

The dress was at least 3 sizes too small.

The dress was the one she wore when she left the orphanage nearly 2 and a half years ago.

The dress that was given to her by the lady in the orphanage who was her special caregiver.

 I know, it makes my heart hurt, too!

You see these past few weeks my Little Girl has been wanting to talk a lot about Ethiopia and she has shared some things about her life there before she joined our family that she had never told me before.

I don't know if it is her age now or emotional development or something about how secure she feels in our family, but she has begun talking about things we weren't sure if she'd ever talk to us about or if she even remembered.

What she has told us is not really different from much of what we already knew, but hearing her say it and share specific details we never told her, is a very new thing.

It has been so good and simultaneously so hard for this mama's heart!

I am so glad she feels comfortable and safe enough to tell me these things.  I am privileged to walk this journey of healing with her, one that will continue over the course of her entire life, ebbing and flowing as she grows up and processes things differently.

But, I am her mommy.  And mommies don't like sad and tragic things to happen to their babies!  Hearing my Little Girl tell about things no child should have to go through makes me hurt on a whole new level for her.  Which is a good thing.

I told her recently after she shared something (Remember we are keeping the specific details of her story private.  It is her story to share with others when and if she is ever ready.) about her past, "I wish I could have been there.  I wish I could have been there to make it better for you."

But, while I couldn't be there for my Little Girl then, I can be there for her now and I am so grateful for that.

AND I can be there for other children.  To keep similar things from happening to them.

THAT is why we partnered a little over a year ago with a care point run by Children's Hopechest in Ethiopia, a new one just getting started.  To help prevent children from becoming orphans, to provide for them through a local church with food, medical care, education, and best of all teaching about Jesus!

This summer I'll travel with my husband and 11 year old son half-way across the world so that we can stand eye to eye with Ethiopian mommies who don't like sad and tragic things to happen to their babies any more than American mommies do.  And hug their beautiful children who don't deserve to starve or suffer from sickness, or loose a parent due to a preventable illness, or wander around the streets looking for food, children who hopefully won't have to become orphans.  We can kiss cheeks and hold hands and play with kids and see the care point as it stands today and dream along with the rest of team about what could be.  A clean water well?  A school?  A library?  A medical clinic?  Scholarships for the brightest students to attend university? 

A better future for this little community in southern Ethiopia! 

We can do for those children what we wish someone would have done for our Little Girl.

Remebering the Phone Call of a Lifetime

It's crazy to know that it was 3 years ago on April 29th when we received the phone call of a lifetime with the referral for the little girl we'd adopt!  Life is flying by so fast now, that Little Girl is 5 years old now and has been home almost 2 and a half years, but I do want to always remember what God has done in our lives.  In many ways I'm still in awe of it all! 

From May 2, 2011:
 
More of the story of The Call. . .

When the phone rang last Friday at 3:45 pm, no way did I expect it to be The Call (and yes, I do believe you have to capitalize that term) we'd been waiting on for nearly 13 months!! In fact, by about 1PM I was like, "Okay, so today's obviously not going to be the day and that means this week has not been the week and now we have to wait out the weekend."

I was busy with my kids and when the phone rang I had to scramble to get it, I saw the number was from our adoption agency's area code and I answered it but still I didn't really think it was The Call! After initial hellos, our caseworker said, "I hear you guys are coming for the training next week and I wanted to make sure I got to see you while you were here." I made small talk with her about the training while opening a snack for one child and cutting a "too scratchy" tag out of the swimsuit of another child (I really think I was babbling incoherently) when in my head all I could think was, "Please don't let that be the only reason you're calling!!!"

Then she finally got to, "There's another reason I'm calling . . ."

And I just about fainted thinking, is this really it are we finally going to know who the little girl is we're going to adopt?!!

When she told me she had our referral ready, I didn't ask her anything about the child, yet, because my husband and I had already decided if at all possible we wanted to find out her age together. Since my husband was at work, I asked if we could call her back and would she be in the office. She gave me the direct number to call her back and I'm so glad I repeated it back to her because I'd written it down wrong my hand was shaking so much!

I called my husband and he agreed to come home so we could be together to get the news and see the pictures. I began flying around my house like a crazy person saying random things to my kids and wildly rubbing sunscreen on them. I dropped my older two kids off at swim team practice and then came back home, started a movie for my little one, then my husband drove up and we called our caseworker back.

She said, "Okay I'm hitting send."

And my email in-box churned for what felt like at least 90 minutes but in reality was about 1 minute. I have no doubt I hit refresh about 120 times during that 1 minute!! And then it was there! The first email introducing our new daughter with about 12 photos attached! Then there was another email with many attachments with medical info, etc., etc. We talked through all the attachments with our caseworker for about 30 minutes. And I have to say, the whole experience is just about as surreal as anything I can imagine! But yet, my husband and I both had complete peace at saying "yes" right away without taking any time to think about it or discuss amongst ourselves, even though we were told we could have several days!

It may sound crazy, but it was instantly there, this bond we feel with our new little girl. I told my husband later that night before we went to bed and were staring at the pictures we'd printed out, "She looks really familiar to me for some reason, like she reminds me of someone, but I can't think of who." I still haven't thought of anyone she reminds me of, I really just believe she looks familiar to me because God intended us to be together all along.

My mind is a whirlwind of crazy, so I'm sure this blog post is incoherent at best, but I'll wrap up with telling the kids. It was late evening before we could tell them because my husband had some key work stuff he had to finish, so he went back up to work and ended up staying late to make up for the time he was home in the afternoon, and we wanted to both be there when the kids heard the news (they knew we'd gotten our referral, but just didn't know her age, yet and hadn't seen the pics.).

We hooked up the computer to the TV to show the pictures really big and the three kids gathered in front of the screen. I'll never forget my oldest son's reaction, upon seeing the very first picture he smiled huge, raised both his arms, and cheered, "Yay!!!!"

Makes me cry just writing about it!

My 3 year old (who is now 4 -- it's been a busy last few days!) said, "She's as cute as Madeline!" Madeline is our new puppy. We may or may not tell the little sister someday what he said. But for the record, our puppy is pretty cute!!

My 5 year old daughter was rather quiet so I asked what she thought, and she asked, "Is she a baby?" and I said, "Well, more of a toddler, but she'll always be your baby sister because she'll always be younger than you. And, this way maybe she can share a room with you right away, she may not even be sleeping in a crib when she comes home." My 5 year old was very pleased with the idea of sharing a room with the new sister (she's always wanted someone to share her room with, like the boys share a room)!

Then all then kids began asking about how we'd teach her English so we talked a bit about how someone learns a language. I said, "Just like you guys learned, you can help her learn. Like you can pick up a ball, show her and say, "ball" and that's how she'll learn. Then my 5 year old, being too smart for me, said, "Well how will she ever learn to say 'hi' and 'bye'?" You know because "hi" is not a thing you can show someone! Thank you kindergarten for teaching the concept of a noun!

Anyway, the kids are very excited to help her learn English and I'm afraid she's going to be bombarded by too many eager teachers when she comes home! The 30 children she's living with in her specific house of the care center may seem quiet compared to her 3 siblings!

Little Girl Writes Her First Chapter Book!

My 8 year old daughter and 6 year old son are always writing books, currently the 6 year old has a "superhero" book going where he's created several unique superheros and the book describes the powers of each superhero.

Well, of course, Little Girl, my 5 year old, has begun writing stories, too!

But, today was special.  Today she wrote her first chapter book!  She was super proud of it! 

 I complimented her on how hard she was working on it.  And then over lunch I had her tell me what it was about (because although I could read words in her story, I needed a translator to really understand).  A close-up of page one of her book:

Chapter 1 (as she read it to me):  "The cat is lost.  It can't find it's mommy.  It is looking everywhere, looking, looking, looking, but it still can't find it's mommy.  The cat bumps into a tree and then another tree but it still can't find it's mommy.  Then it bumps into another tree, but looks up and it wasn't a tree but it's mommy!  It wasn't lost anymore!"

And Chapter 2:  "The cat is lost under water.  It can't find it's home!  But a mermaid comes to help it.  Then the cats brothers and sister come and help it find its home."

Hmmmm, I'm no child psychologist, but considering Little Girl was adopted as a 3 year old into our family (that happens to include 2 brothers and 1 sister for Little Girl), anyone think the little cat just may be her?  At least chapter 1 and chapter 2 ended happily with the cat finding it's mommy and finding it's home!

The theme of her stories overwhelms me anew with the privilege and responsibility God has given me by allowing me to be Little Girl's mother!  We are so blessed to be able to share in her stories!

From a Foster Child's Perspective

After doing volunteer work for 10 years with foster children in my area, I can say they have my heart.  I wish they could all have loving homes!  I don't think most people understand what foster children really go through.

Watch this video to get a glimpse.  Be sure to watch all the way to end, it's the best part!

The Blessing of Nothing Unusual at the Dentist With Four Kids!

I survived taking all 4 kids to the dentist today for cleanings and check-ups!    Four kids and NO cavities -- hooray!  And not even a meltdown!  We have come a long way, that is for sure!

Something that struck me later is just how normal it is to me now, having these 4 kids.  When Little Girl first came home, and really for at least a year after, I told pretty much everyone we met that we adopted her from Ethiopia.  I was self-conscious about people staring at us and the fact that we look different and just felt like I should address everyone's wondering and settle the issue about why I, a white woman, have a black child.

But, now after 2 years, I find myself not telling people so often and not because it's something I don't want to share, it's just I don't think to share it as much.  To me, now, these just are my 4 kids, and honestly sometimes I forget there is anything unusual about it!

Today we had a new dental hygienist, someone we'd never met before.  She cleaned all 4 kids' teeth.   I sat right by the exam chair with Little Girl on my lap while the older 3 kids had their teeth cleaned and never thought to explain anything.  It wasn't until an hour and 45 minutes into the deal (yes, that is how long it takes to take 4 kids to the dentist complete with x-rays, cleanings, consults with the dentist, and 2 re-applied sealants) as we were leaving and I was gathering up my children, that it even occurred to me that someone might see my group as odd!

These are just the children whom God has graciously given me! - Genesis 33:5

High Protein Snacks

In our adoption training we learned that children from hard places are more susceptible to mood swings due to changes in their blood sugar levels thus it's recommended to provide a high protein snack to keep blood sugar levels stable.

I've found this is a good practice for all children, hard places or not.

But, coming up with healthy, convenient snacks that are high in protein that my children will eat can be challenging, so I thought I'd share some I've figured out that work for us.

- Homemade snack mix
This is Little Girl's go-to snack most days for preschool.  It consists of almonds (her classroom is peanut-free but thankfully other nuts are fine), raisins, and then I add in something else like a few goldfish or wheat thins or some dry cereal.

- String Cheese
I get the most all natural I can find.  There is a surprising amount of protein packed into a little string cheese!

- Boiled Eggs
I don't pack this snack for preschool, but at home it's a great way to get some protein in your kids

- Edamame
I do have to sprinkle it with a considerable amount of salt, but then all 4 of my kids gobble up this stuff!

- Greek Yogurt
Regular yogurt has some protein, but Greek yogurt has even more.  One of my kids really loves yogurt parfaits, where I layer yogurt, sliced fruit, and granola.


Do you have any high protein snacks that work for your kids?

Find more Works for Me Wednesday here.

Guess Who's Ready For Kindergarten?

Recently my husband and I sat in a conference with our 5 year old daughter's pre-K teachers, the Little Girl who we adopted from Ethiopia just a little over 2 years ago.  Her teachers had such nice things to say about our Little Girl and as they announced she was "ready for kindergarten" and went over the checklists of physical and social and and verbal and emotional and behavioral skills and how she well she was doing in these areas, I couldn't help but again be completely washed in awe for our God! 

This is a little girl who lived the first 3 years of her life in a 3rd world country, who suffered from malnutrition, who lost her first family, who lived a total of 13 months in 2 different orphanages, who was adopted as a 3 year old and moved to a different country with a completely different culture and language to live in a family who were strangers to her!

And to think now just 2 years later she is on par or exceeding the abilities of her peers who were born and raised in America, have spoken the language since birth and were privy to the best nutrition (even starting with prenatal vitamins!), medical care, and stability of their birth family!  It is amazing!  Only God!

When I think back to the tiny orphan we first saw pictures of:

 To the first moment we laid eyes on her in Ethiopia:

To that room she lived in for a year with the cribs lining the walls:

 

Sometimes it is honestly so hard to believe my Little Girl today is that same little girl:

 

 Our God is a God who redeems lives!

"Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things." Psalm 72:18

Which crayon color is skin color?

Do you know how there is the saying that "The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know"?  Well, that's exactly how I've grown to feel about skin color and racial issues.

I have so much to say and yet nothing to say.

Are you confused yet?  Good, me, too.

I have learned so much being a white mama to my black daughter these past 2 years.  I have gotten to know some black people on a deeper level than ever before.  I've learned things about myself and about the world that I never expected.  What I've learned makes me realize how much I did not know before, how much you cannot know until you live it.  Most of it makes me simultaneously hopeful and sad.

But, as a mother to white-skinned children and a brown-skinned child (some of them wanted me to do their toenails tonight -- one set of those feet may or may not be a boy's but he's sandwiched between 2 sisters age-wise, bless him, and he did wisely choose "clear" as his color!  So much easier than his high-maintenance sisters who want a different color on each toe!), I will continue leaning into these hard and sometimes uncomfortable issues. 



 But sometimes the veil lifts and there is no hard, just beauty and a picture of God's kingdom.  Like this past Sunday morning when I sat at a kid-sized table in my church with the 4&5 year olds I teach Sunday School to.  We were coloring a picture of Jesus and the official from John chapter 4 and the kids got in a conversation about which color crayon to use for the skin color.  Only what made me smile bigger than Texas was at the table with me was an Asian child, 2 black children and 2 white children all bantering on about skin color.  It was precious!  Of course I couldn't resist a bit of coaching, Me: "Is one skin color better than another?"  Them: "No!"  Me: "Do you know if someone is nice or mean just by the color of their skin?" Them: "No!"

Revelation 7:9-10, "I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!'"

For now, me?  I have nothing articulate to say, but THIS GIRL?  Lupita Nyong'o says it beautifully!  Love her!!  Click here to watch her speech about beauty!

We Survived Two Years of Four Kids!

On Christmas Eve we celebrated two years of being a family of six.  Two years since we brought Little Girl home from Ethiopia!

We have decided to celebrate the anniversary of that day when we stepped off the plane from Ethiopia with our new child and were finally all together as a family of 6 every year with a fun family outing.  

This year the weather was beautiful so we decided to do the same thing as last year.  We had a picnic at a park and then rode the pedal boats around the lake.

My husband and the boys were in one boat and I was in another with the girls.  

My girls giggled about the duck with the "crazy hair"! 

Do you see him 3rd in line with a puff ball on the back of his head?

Here's his (her?) close-up:

Then we spotted a turtle on some pontoons and petaled over to get a better look, but as we got closer, this large rat-looking creature that we later learned was a nutria, suddenly swam over and climbed onto a pontoon!

We followed that guy all around the lake when he got in to swim

I'm not sure if he's cute or one of the grossest creatures I've seen, but he sure made our day more fun and exciting!  And educational as we went home and researched nutrias, also known as coypus or river rats!  Apparently they have become quite the pests as they eat so many plants around the wetlands.

It was a great afternoon and then we went home and cleaned up for Christmas Eve church!

Adding a child older than the age of infancy to your family through international adoption is such a surreal thing.  I really cannot describe accurately how we feel about two years because it all just contradicts itself.  In some ways two years feels like too small of a number, it seems like Little Girl has been with us much longer.  "Really, she's only been with us two years?" we sometimes think.  But, in other ways it seems like just yesterday that we brought her home or that we were in Ethiopia with her.  

And then in so many ways, most ways, she has adjusted amazingly well to living in America, being in our family, and speaking English.  But, then sometimes there are still things, like what I call "orphanage behaviors" that crop up and I think, "Really?  We're still seeing this?"  But, I think both realities are normal.  She has come a very long way, yet to some extent her past will always be a part of who she is.

Two years in and having four kids is still very busy, messy and loud (it is funny to go back now and read my post "4 Weeks of Having 4 Kids" and my views then about color-coded cups and less stuff are absolutely still true!), but the blessings are magnified, too with four children!  Mostly we are just so thankful we get to be a family!