Into the Land of Glasses!

Whew, I didn't intend to take a 2 week break from the blog, it just sort of happened!  Life has been full and busy, with so many areas needing every bit of my attention that the blog had to take a backseat.

But, I'll try to catch you up on some happenings around here in the coming blog posts (however erratically they may be spaced).

A little over a month ago, our family journeyed somewhere none of the 6 of us have ever been before --- into the land of GLASSES!

My 7 year old son got reading glasses.  It only took about 4 months of picking him up from school with him complaining of having a headache nearly every day before I finally scheduled a visit to the eye doctor.  Seriously, Mom of the Year candidate here!

But, I really didn't think he had a vision problem, they do a quick screen at the pediatrician, the school nurse screens each kid every year, and he reads above his grade level.  It turns out he can see fine, but he does have a condition called esophoria where his eyes have a tendency to turn inwards when he is focusing on something close-up and all day long his eye muscles were having to compensate to focus correctly, causing eye strain and headaches.  Not everyone who has esophoria needs glasses but since my son was having the headaches the eye doctor recommended we try reading glasses which would ease the strain of focusing when reading or doing school work and see if it helped the headaches.  I'm so thankful the glasses did stop the headaches!  And I'm so proud of my little guy for remembering to wear the glasses and remembering to pack them in his backpack each morning for school since he uses them to read before bed, not to mention how brave he was to start wearing his glasses to school half-way through the school year when all the other kids would notice the change!  

He might outgrow the condition, but for now, just look how cute he is with glasses (but DON'T call him "cute" because he really doesn't like being called "cute")!

Daddy Daughter Dance

My husband took our girls to a Daddy Daughter Valentines Dance recently.

The girls were so excited about their dresses that I only heard a few complaints that they were "too scratchy!"

My two daughters have such different personalities, yet they are the best of friends.  They are both beautiful and shine in their own ways.  I can only imagine the great plans God has for them! 

I'll let you guess which girl wanted to dance all night at the party and which was not so into the dancing!

When I assign my 11 year old yard work chores . . .

One benefit of not hiring a yard crew to take care of our yard, like all our neighbors do, is that it makes a great consequence for bad kid behavior!

A few days before Christmas the 11 year old was relegated outside to put in some time doing leaf duty.  (Our autumn is more in December so our yard was covered in leaves.)

I was busy doing some things inside, likely wrapping presents, or some such holiday prep.  After a bit I looked out the window to see how the 11 year old was progressing in his chore and I saw his 7 year old brother was out working alongside him.

I took their picture because they were so cute and then continued on with my inside work.  When I looked outside a little later, lo and behold now the 11 year old had also recruited his sisters (who were still clad in their pajamas because no school so why change out of jammies) into the backyard to assist him in leaf duty.

I couldn't believe it!  How in the world did he convince all 3 of his siblings to help him complete his chore consequence?  And they were happily working!!  AND he had trained them all to do the various tasks of leaf blowing, raking, scooping and periodically changing the trash bag once it got full!

Sure there was some of this:

But, real work got done.  The entire backyard was thoroughly raked and about 6 bags of leaves generated!

My 11 year old son is always telling me when I encourage him to learn to do menial jobs well, that he won't need those skills because he is going to be the boss when he grows up.

Well, I gotta hand it to him, the kid does have some managerial skills!

Evidence that I have no pride remaining

I'm thinking this is a sign that I have no pride left at all, but I'm not completely sure.  What do you think?  

I help my 6 year old pass the time during an older sibling's swim practice by letting her fix my hair:

And not only do I sport that lovely hairstyle right out in public for all the world to see, but I let another child (who apparently had their finger in the way) photograph me:

Yes, all the other parents sitting nearby think I'm nuts!

You know I have a black daughter, right?

There has been so much talk of Ferguson these past few days since the verdict came out and I was inundated with news coverage while at a certain relative's house over Thanksgiving who had the Fox News going non-stop.  I've heard too many opinions on Ferguson from white people.  So, honestly I've struggled with if I should even write about this, but I just can't let it go.

I will try to be brief.

I do not know what really happened the day Mike Brown died.  I am not pointing fingers or taking sides.

But, I can tell you the whole thing feels different when you are the parent of a black child.  Really different.

I know what it feels like to parent white children and now for three years since we adopted our youngest, I am learning what it feels like to parent a black child.

It shouldn't be all that different, right?  Well, except for hair and skin care.  Only, unfortunately, there are things that ARE different because of the way others may judge my black child.

For example, when I just parented white children, it never occurred to me to coach them on what to do if approached by the police.  "Police are your friends, they are your helpers, the safe people," is probably what I said.  And I never thought about going over with my kids about how to conduct themselves in department stores when they are old enough to shop without me.  Things like, "don't put your hands in your pockets," "don't carry a large purse," "always have your receipt with you for things you've bought," "do not dig around in your purse while in the middle of a store."  Because I do not follow those rules myself.

The hard reality that the world may judge my two precious daughters, who decked out in princess attire just yesterday, differently, possibly assuming negative things about my Ethiopian daughter just because she is black, is heartbreaking!  But, it is a reality for her, and thus me, as her mom.

Racism is still a problem in our country.  I recently got a comment from a white person that caused my head to spin around and the only thing I could think to say was, "You know I have a black daughter, right?"

So many people have spoken their minds but I say, don't be so quick to speak your opinions on Ferguson, instead, look within yourself to see if you are in any way part of the problem and find a way to love.

I love the example the 12 year old boy in this picture (click link) gives to the rest of us!

And, in the spirit of developing empathy, here are black moms sharing with white moms about the race talk.

We have a lot to learn!  May God give us wisdom and compassion!

Running Alongside As My Daughter Achieved Her Goal

Last month I blogged about my 9 year old daughter's goal to run 3 miles and how we were working up to it, running a little farther each weekend.

Well, on Saturday she did it!

She ran 3 miles!!

And a pretty good time, too -- 30 minutes 46 seconds, so averaging 10 min. and 15 sec. per mile.

I'm so proud of my daughter, she is a person who not only sets high goals for herself but works hard to achieve her goals!  I can't wait to see how God is going to use her drive for His glory!

Based on how far we'd run the weekend the before, we thought she'd achieve her goal this weekend, so my husband and our other 3 kids came to the park and were there to cheer her on as she finished the last bit of the 3rd mile.  It was very special!  What I also loved was that as we ran around the 3 mile running loop, other runners, strangers to us who didn't even know she was trying to run 3 miles for the 1st time, were encouraging my girl, telling her things like, "Good Job!"  and "You go, girl!"

Here we are after the run (she looks a whole lot better than I do!), right before we celebrated with chocolate shakes:

The Weeks are Flying By!

Wow, another Friday, already.  How did that happen so fast?!!

I haven't been the best blogger lately, just too many other things to focus on.  And life is very full.

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Do you want to know something I have learned about the season of life we are in right now with 4 kids ages 11, 9, 7, and 5 years old? 

Teeth will come out!

It is happening at about a rate of 2 to 3 teeth per week and has gotten to the point where it's not even unusual for me to have a Ziploc baggie with someone's tooth in it in my purse or sitting in the cupholder of the car!

The weirdest thing lately has been my 11 year old losing teeth.  He went through a couple years where he didn't lose any teeth but now he's losing the bigger teeth like the molars.  Every time it happens my son and I have to reassure my alarmed husband that it was in fact a tooth that was "supposed to come out"!

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Speaking of the 11 year old, he just finished up his first 6 weeks of middle school and managed to pull all A's!  I knew he was smart enough to do well in middle school but I worried and worried about his lack of organization and thought it would be his downfall when he had 8 classes and 2 lockers to manage.  It wasn't always smooth sailing and I, as his mom watching from the sidelines, certainly sweated out some days, like the day he left his expandable folder (the one that holds the work for all of his classes) on the kitchen table:

As hard as it was for me to discover that folder at home after I'd taken him to school and realize just what a bad day he was likely going to have without that folder, I knew that it was a growth experience.  And it was!  When I picked him up from school he suggested, without any lecturing from me, "I think I need to make a checklist!"  And the next school day he went to each teacher that he was not able to turn in work to and turned in his late work (because in middle school teachers are not going to come find you about missing work), they gave him partial credit and he ended the 6 weeks with 92 or above for all 8 classes!  We are so proud of him!  And the best part, he is really enjoying middle school, learning so much, and appreciating all the opportunities our public school offers!

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My 7 year old son continues to astound us with his building skills and fills the playroom with his creations:

My kids have loved the Kapla 200 Blocks Set ** I got them for Christmas!  Definitely one of my best toy purchases ever!

Happy Friday, Everyone!

**Affiliate links included in this post. **

Running with My Daughter

The third week of the school year, I attended parent night and sat in my 4th grade daughter's desk as her teacher shared about what to expect for the year.  Glancing at her desktop I saw the large nameplate that each child had made for themselves, in the middle was the child's name and in each corner was some piece of information about the child.  The top right corner had the child's goal for the year.  I smiled when I read my daughter's goal.  It didn't surprise me because it's something she's talked about before, but still, the fact that this was what she listed struck me that it was more important to her than I realized.  Her goal:  Run 3 miles.

My daughter and I have been running together off and on for the past year or so and the place where we run has a 3 mile track.  When I run by myself I do the entire 3 mile loop, and with my daughter we just run part of it, but I'd told her that someday she'll be able to run the entire 3 miles.

Sitting in her desk that evening and seeing her goal there in writing on the desktop she stares at each day convinced me I needed to be more intentional about helping my daughter achieve her goal.

So, we've been running together every weekend, a little longer each time.  And at this rate, she is on track to achieve her 3 mile goal before Christmas!

I'm so proud of my girl!  She did 18 minutes without stopping this past Sunday and she runs at a good pace!  I don't have to slow down to run with her, she can keep up with the rate I'd normally run by myself!

Then we sprint the last little bit of the run and she leaves me in the dust every time!  My view as she races past me (grainy iPhone pictures while running):

I'm fully aware that these runs with my 9 year old daughter are the good stuff of life.  And getting to tackle this goal with my girl, high-fiving her along the way?  Well, I get choked up thinking about the privilege of it!

I Took Four Kids to the Dentist, Kinda Thinking I Deserved A Goody Bag!

The kids had early dismissal from school yesterday, so I took all 4 of them to the dentist for check-ups and cleanings.  No cavities -- hooray!!  Just another baby tooth of Little Girl's with a deadline, one month for her to wiggle it out or we need to come in and let the dentist pull it.  She has had this drama with nearly all her teeth, the adult tooth grows in with the baby tooth still there!

It is getting easier the taking of 4 kids to the dentist by myself, but I have to say it still exhausts me.  Really, I've said before, but there are times when having 4 kids does not feel like a lot and then there are times when it feels like a bunch.  Taking them all to the dentist is one of the "it's a whole lot!"  times.

It starts as soon as I walk in the door and walk up to the receptionist.  She asks me how many kids I need forms for (because you know even though we've seen this dentist for 9 years there are always still forms!), and I say, "Four."  She sucks in her breath and says, "Whoa."  And I reply, "Yeah, I know.  That's pretty much a thought I have every day."

She takes pity on me and allows me to combine the 4 children onto one form for 2 of the forms, but the healthy inventory I must fill out one for each child.  I think I manage to get the right birthday on the right child's form and list their allergies and who has had their adenoids removed and who has not.

From there it is pretty much assembly-line, three-fourths of the kids through x-rays, all 4 through teeth-cleaning, and all 4 then cycle one by one through the dentist's chair where he checks them and discusses with me what's going on with their teeth.

One thing I have learned to expect when taking 4 kids to the doctor or dentist, there are never enough chairs for everyone.  Doctor exam rooms typically have 2, maybe 3 chairs and there are 5 of us.  The dentist has more chairs but there are other patients and parents there, too.  It was less awkward when the kids were smaller, but for now we can still send Little Girl to sit on the floor in the toy area and the 7 year old can sit on my lap if he has to.

Still way better combining them all into one afternon than taking them to the dentist two at a time and having to visit the pediatric dentist 4 times a year instead of just twice!

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I cleaned out the kid bathroom cabinet that has pretty much every product ever made for Little Girl's hair.  My 11 year old walked in when I had pulled a bunch of the bottles out on the counter so I could organize the cabinet and he thought it was hilarious how much stuff I had and had to run get the camera to take a picture. I can admit that buying conditioner, various curling puddings and gels is one way I compensate for being a white mama to my black daughter.  The sad thing is that picture really only captures about a fourth of what I have as I'd already started putting things back in the cabinet when he walked in!

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We've had some amazing cooler temperatures the past few days.  My girls enjoyed some bike riding:

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Here's a photo of the elaborate game my 2nd grader came up with to help learn his spelling words.  It is amazingly complicated, really, and convinced me what the kid lacks in natural spelling ability he more than makes up for with creativity.  His test is tomorrow and he still has trouble spelling "difference" and "Tuesday", but in the long run of life, there's always spell-checker, right?

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Happy Friday and Happy Fall!

Maybe the Folder Fairy can teach you to spell "elephant"/pack a lunch my 7 year old will eat/speak German

Because my 5 year old has the same teacher for kindergarten that my older 3 children had, my other 3 children think they are the expert on all things related to this particular kindergarten class.  But sometimes things change from year to year, the teacher does something new.  I tell them these things but they are still firm that they know it all.  On Tuesday, Little Girl came home talking about how the "Folder Fairy" was going to visit some time at school and check to see if they had a neat folder.  Well, my 9 year old was adamant that there was no "Folder Fairy" in kindergarten and no matter how much her little sister tried to convince her, the 9 year old just believed her little sister was the one who was wrong.

Well, on Wednesday this came home in Little Girl's folder:

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I've spent all week helping my 2nd grader with his spelling words, spelling words that literally are a challenge for even my husband and me!  I have a trick for Wednesday, you know say it like Wed-nes-day and then it's obvious how to spell it, but elephant?  I have no idea how to help him remember how to spell elephant!  On the pretest he spelled it, "elfint".  Do you see how far we have to come from Monday to Friday?  Really, with 20 words to deal with on his list, I've written off "elephant", he'll just miss that one, and we're focusing our energies on other words like "calendar", "lettuce" and "celery".  Honestly, 2nd grade is not what it used to be!

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My 7 year old let me know as we walked out of school one day this week that he likes bagel with cream cheese for lunch only on weekends and in the summer but not packed in his school lunch like I had done that day. 

It's one of those comments that can really irritate you as a parent considering the effort you put into the homemade, hand-packed lunch at 7am.  But, I've been trying a tactic lately with my kids and it's really helping.  I repeat back to them whatever they just said to me that sounded unreasonable.  "So, let me get this straight, you like bagel and cream cheese for lunch on the weekends and in the summertime, but not on school days?"

And really just the repeating of the crazy thing they've just told me typically allows me to find the amusing quality in it all and refrain from an irritated reply like, "Fine, then pack your own lunch!"

I told him that I worried his list of things he does like packed for lunch is getting too small.  He assured me there were lots of things he liked for lunch, but only proceeded to think of 3 -- cheese quesadillas, pizza, and peanut butter and crackers.  Considering the prep. involved in the pizza and quesadilla options, those are only happening once, maybe twice a week, so the kid is going to be eating a lot of peanut butter crackers!

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My 6th grader is taking German right now and he keeps talking to me in German and I have no idea what he is saying!  Actually it is amazing how much German he's learned in just 4 weeks now!  But, I'm quick to let Mr. Middle School know he is not beyond bringing in my recycling bins:

Happy Friday, Friends!

How To Have Your Tween Son Do His Own Laundry

A few months back I had my 11 year old son start doing his own wash, and I thought I'd come back and share how it's going.  But first a few quick steps regarding how to get your tween child to do their own wash:

Step 1:  Show them how to do wash.  Let them help you do several loads.  Discuss things like water temperature, amount of detergent, dryer temperature, etc.

Step 2:  Buy them their own hamper to use to keep their clothes separate.

Step 3:  Let them know that they are ready to do their own wash and that it is time for them to take on that responsibility.

Step 4:  Stop doing their wash.  

And a few tips I've learned along the way:

1. This really is the most awesome chore to turn over to your preteen/tween child because it is truly something that lightens your load as a mom and there is a built-in consequence that you don't have to enforce!  If they don't do their wash, they don't have clean clothes to wear.  Parenting doesn't get any easier that, folks!

2. For #1 to work well, your child should have a week's worth of clothes, no less, and not too much more.  For example, the khaki shorts my son wears to middle school he has exactly 5 pairs.  The dwindling supply is a good reminder to him that it's time to do wash soon.

3.   Whichever day your kid picks to do his wash, just count on the washer/dryer being occupied for most of the day because preteens are not exactly speedy about the turn-over between washer and dryer, etc.

4.  The dryer will buzz loudly and then go back into its wrinkle-shield setting for a few minutes before buzzing again.  You will try to ignore the annoying buzzer and glance over at your child but remain quiet because you are trying not to nag and he needs to own this chore.  This process will repeat no less than 6 times before you finally comment to your middle schooler that his clothes are done in the dryer to which he'll respond, "Really?  I didn't hear it go off!"

5. Once your son starts doing his own wash, do not go into his closet any more.  Trust me on this one.  You don't want to see what's in there!  Okay, I'm kidding a little, here, but really just expect to find things that are not the way you'd do them, like this pile of dirty clothes on the floor of the closet rather than in the hamper:

And where is the hamper anyway?

Of course, it's over there by the dresser instead of in the closet where it belongs to actually, you know, collect the dirty clothes!

And if you are a person, like me, who hangs the shirts all facing the same direction in the closet?  LET IT GO!  That is a crazy standard to hold an 11 year old boy to.  If he has clean clothes that he washed by himself, the whole thing has been a success!

I know, it makes me itch a little, too, the shirts facing opposite directions, which is why it's better to just not go in there!!

All in all, my son really is doing great with this chore.  He has not completely run out of clean clothes yet, he seems to understand the need to hang things quickly before they get wrinkled, and he gets bonus points for even bringing home his school gym clothes every Friday and washing them with his other clothes over the weekend!

Parenting Post-September 11th

It seems really odd to me that my children will never really understand September 11th.

That infamous, tragic September 11th was 13 years ago, my children were not alive yet. I know this logically, but conceptually it's just hard to imagine people who don't know what that day was like because they didn't live it. People who can learn about the facts but it will be without the memories of their own personal horror and fear and sorrow and experience that day.

I think of what I, now as a parent, want my children to know about September 11th, but more deeply I think of how I want to parent my children knowing their generation may have their own September 11th.

Would my children as young men and women have the courage to run up the stairs of those burning buildings?

What if my daughters as grown women, married with 2 children and a 3rd on the way were suddenly widowed?

What if my children came face to face with an evil so strong it threatened many, many lives?

How would they respond?

What would be their strength? their peace? their comfort? their hope?

And am I doing enough today to teach them about the only God who will never leave them, who loves them with an everlasting love, who can slay giants, who can save and redeem their lives so that they're ready if and when their world is rocked to the core one beautiful, sunny day.

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." Zeph. 3:17

My 4th Time to Attend Kindergarten Parent's Night

Tonight I attended the kindergarten parents open house for my 4th child.

It is the night when parents go up to the school without the kids and sit in their child's extremely tiny desk and listen to the teacher talk about what to expect from the year.

I love our kindergarten teacher, my 3 older kids all had this same teacher!

My husband, of course, felt we did not need to go to the kindergarten open house night.  "We have done kindergarten 3 times before!!" he insisted.  But, I countered with that each year there are some changes and we needed to hear the deal for this year.

I was so glad I went, there was a little letter from each child to their parents and then a blank one where the parents were to write back to their kids, I don't want to imagine my little girl arriving at school tomorrow and not having a note from her parent!

But, as I sat there in kindergarten open house for the 4th time, I felt old.

There were parents with their 1st child in kindergarten who were shiny and eager and full of questions!  Three of them had signed up as room parents (even a mom and dad pair which I've never seen in 6 years of having a child in elementary school) and they want to have a class family bowling night so we can all get to know one another.  They were so precious and enthusiastic that I immediately felt guilty for going into the night with the sole goal of not signing my name next to anything!  So, I came home and emailed one of them to sign up for a volunteer role they needed help with.  Never mind the fact that I've already taken a recurring role in my 4th grader's class and also in my 2nd grader's class!  Just somebody keep me from clicking "reply" on that middle school request for volunteers!

The Evening I Went Back to Middle School

Here's the schedule my husband and I got to run through tonight at our son's middle school open house.  (The kids only go to all 8 classes on Fridays and the other days just half the classes, either odd or even periods, which is why our schedules didn't have us go to the periods in numerical order.):

We got 5 minutes in between classes just like our son gets, only he has to go to his locker and we didn't have to do that step.  Then we were in each of his 8 classes for a total of 7 minutes!  SEVEN minutes!  Can you imagine?  We at least got to put a face with a name for each of his teachers, but the 7 minutes was a complete blur of them fast-talking through their goals/policies/procedures/upcoming projects before that obnoxious bell ringing cut in and sent all of us parents scampering on our way again!

I'm proud to say my husband and I were not late to any of our child's classes but if you tested me on any of the information covered in that hour and a half of open house, 7 minutes with 8 different teachers, I'm sure I'd perform pretty poorly.  Just thankful they didn't make us change into gym clothes for P.E.!

First Day of Kindergarten, 2nd Grade, 4th Grade, and 6th Grade!!

Look what I did before 7am:

FOUR nutritious, homemade, hand-packed lunches! (The 6th grader has graduated to a brown bag lunch, too big for a lunch box, apparently.  That or he's just getting out of the chore of cleaning out his lunch box at the end of the day.)

Really those lunches ought to be accomplishment enough for the day, I should have just gone back to bed, but oh no, there was so much more to be done!

Like getting these four out the door for their first day of Kindergarten, 2nd Grade, 4th Grade, and 6th Grade:

A friend told me today that she had a time getting her two children ready for school and said she didn't know how I did it with four kids.  "ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD!"  I told her, and it's true!  Each and every day I get to witness God's hand at work because clearly my husband and I are outnumbered and so God must show up in a big way in our house every school morning! 

I am thankful everyone had a really great first day!  The kindergartener didn't get in trouble which is amazing and my new middle school student was able to get his locker opened between each of his 8 classes!

Just don't ask me how long it took to drop them all off or pick them all up.   Or how long I spent filling out a multitude of school forms times 4 kids!!!

Okay, ask.  Really I want you to ask.  Because otherwise you'll be all, "What did you do all day with all four of your kids in school?!!  Wow, you must have so much time on your hands now!"

1 hour 15 minutes to drop them all off.  That includes the hoopla of parents hanging out a bit with their new kindergarten kids on the first day and attending an info. coffee with the principal at the middle school.  Does not include getting them ready for school time.

1 hour 15 minutes to pick them all up.  This number will hopefully go way down, but there was a big delay with elementary school pick up today, they were trying out a new strategy for releasing the kids to parents and even though I got to the school 15 minutes before it let out, I didn't get to pick up my kids for 40 minutes!  They are going to do dismissal differently tomorrow and I pray it is much smoother!

And then 1 hour 45 minutes filling out all the school forms tonight!  My hand is still cramped up!  Dear school district, where are the on-line forms?  Are you trapped in 1985?

But, we have the first day under our belts, and I am truly thankful that my kids are in excellent public schools, all four with wonderful teachers, and they are poised to learn a ton this year and not just book knowledge, either!

Celebrating with My Girl

A few months back when I asked my daughter what she wanted to do to celebrate her 9th birthday, what she wanted most was not a friend birthday party or tons of presents.  What she wanted was to go away for a night at a hotel with me.

Just she and I.

So that's exactly what we did last Friday night.  I dropped off my younger 3 kids to my husband at work a bit earlier than he'd typically leave and we were off for our special mother-daughter getaway.  We stayed in town because we didn't need elaborate scenery, just a pretty room, a fun pool, and time together which we could find in our own city without a long drive.   We had dinner by the pool, swam until after bedtime, played a new card game back in our hotel room, cuddled up to read a little Anne of Green Gables, and slept in the following morning with no loud siblings waking her up, we had a nice breakfast in the hotel restaurant, and then hit the pool for more swimming before checking out and heading home.  I even went down the pool's waterslide with her multiple times!

It was pretty perfect, certainly memories I'll treasure!  And as a bonus, the whole thing was cheaper than most friend birthday parties would have been!!

She was pretty pleased with our fancy breakfast at the hotel:

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Girl!  What a blessing it is to have you as a daughter!

Her Real Mom

The words came tumbling out one day a couple months ago.  I knew they would eventually.  I guess I expected to hear them in anger when I'd done something she didn't like, but that's not how it was.  There had been an intense couple weeks where my daughter, adopted as a 3 year old and now 5 years old, wanted to talk a lot about Ethiopia and began sharing more than ever before about her life before us.  During those intense few weeks, triggered by I know not what, we had several really good but hard conversations.  I was thankful for the new level of bonding, but also emotionally exhausted!

And then it came from the backseat one afternoon as I drove her to gymnastics, my 5 year old daughter said very matter-of-factly, "You know you're not my real mom."

Whoa.  Deep breath in, and out, quick prayer.  And the decision only enabled by God,"I am not going to take this personally!"

I responded in just the same matter of fact tone she had used and assured her that while I was not her birth mom, I was in fact her real mom.

We'd used those terms many times before but you never know what a child is really understanding and they process things differently at different ages.  We talked more and I truly believe she just wanted some reassurance about my role in her life.  Her comment was not intended to hurt me and it was not a reflection on my performance as a parent or our degree of bondedness, but I could have easily taken her comment any of those ways.  I could have gotten my feelings hurt and in the midst of my pity-party or anger, missed the opportunity to react in a way that nurtured my girl.

It's not easy, y'all, when you have poured so much into a child and then to hear that, but trust me, it is much better if you can repeat the mantra inside your head, "It's not personal.  It's not personal."  and then set to the business of seeing your child's heart and addressing the real reason for the real mom comment.

Hugs to all you real mamas out there!  Anybody ever seen a fake mom?

Making Her Hair Dreams Come True

Last week I said that Little Girl had requested a mohawk sprayed with colorful hair paint for crazy hair day at our VBS.  If you have ever been in a vicinity of 50 feet from my little girl then you know that she is a girl who knows what she wants, is not afraid to ask for it (loudly) and keeps asking until she gets it.  As soon as she learned about the crazy hair day theme she made her hair desires very clear to me.

Well.  Let me tell you I had literally 25 minutes from the time Little Girl got out of the water after swim team practice to get her bathed, dressed for VBS, and also make her hair dreams come true.  And I really was not even quite sure HOW I was going to get Little Girl's hair into a mohawk!  Talk about tricky!

But, thankfully a great idea came to me to put her hair in 4 different little ponytails along the middle of her head and it ended up working perfectly to create the mohawk look.

Then I spray painted the mohawk with purple spray paint because why not?  Crazy Hair Day at VBS is the kids one day out of the year to have a wacky hair style, so go big or go home, right?!!

Several people at VBS told Little Girl how great her hair was and moms were asking me how I did it -- ha!

My other 2 VBS kids sporting their versions of crazy hair (notice the 3 different colors of hair paint - pink, purple and blue - where did these high-maintenance children come from?):

My oldest had water day at VBX that day and wore his swim suit and swim shirt.

It was  about half-way through the morning at VBS while I was helping forty 2nd graders with a craft that I realized I planned to run by Trader Joe's for a few key items (like Ethiopian coffee -- we CANNOT run out of coffee) on the way home from VBS and I'd have to take my 3 crazy hair kids plus my 1 kid in dressed in a swim suit into the store with me!  Talk about a spectacle!

But, I did not want to go home, get everyone cleaned up, and go back out again!  Also, I remembered that I have no pride remaining when it comes to being out and about with my kids and people staring or thinking weird things about me, so I took them into the store and we walked around as if there was nothing unusual!  A store employee told my little kids they had "cool hair"!

Thankfully that hair paint washed out on the first try!

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This week with VBS over, Camp Mom has been in full swing.  And remember from last summer I explained Camp Mom is not where I go to camp and get to sleep in and have manicures and pedicures and massages.  No, Camp Mom is where I attempt to entertain/occupy my 4 children during various weeks of their summer break instead of sending them to camp I have to pay for, to be enterained/occupied by someone else.

We've done science experiments, like this one where you sprinkle ice cubes with salt to get them to stick to a piece of yarn.

A perk about going to Camp Mom is that jammies are totally acceptable attire and even encouraged -- less wash to do!!

We've gone to a free play put on at our local outdoor theater, we ate lunch while watching a movie at a movie grill place, we've gone to the library and signed up for the summer reading program, we've done some handwriting practice and a bit of schoolwork to keep everyone fresh over the summer!

Then today at Camp Mom, my kids were able to assist and witness a surgery!  "Beary" had a large gash in his side that needed several stitches:

A needle and thread fixed him right up.  The 11 year old insisted on taking pictures!.

Beary is now resting comfortably in the 5 year old's bed.

I'm ready for some rest now.  Early swim team practices combined with being all on all day with my four kids plus one night my husband was out of town have left me a little worn out!

Happy Friday and Happy Father's Day to all the dads in your life!