A Party With a Side of Some Chaos

I'm so glad our Valentine's balloon is still stuck up in the highest ceiling point in our house, because it's time for the annual 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party and my home is already decorated! Oh, the wonder and joy of helium! Two months and it is still going strong!

Come right in, we're thrilled you stopped by! Don't mind the mess. There's a toddler in the house, so that ought to explain the thousands of popcorn kernels you may find on the kitchen floor.
And the powder coating every surface in the toddler's bedroom!
To introduce ourselves, we have 3 biological kids ages 7, 4, and 2 years old and are in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia.


So what's up with the name? Is it really chaos?

Well, aside from the popcorn kernels and the powder, there's no telling what you'll find in the potty.

And the first day of school sometimes involves breaking and entering into your own home!

Teeth have been known to fall out and we actually expect to lose at least 46 more in the next 5 to 7 years!


There's often a costumed character or 2 or 3 hanging around!


At least we have superheros to come to the rescue!


And a live-in cleaning crew!

Which is a good thing because the messes? Are plentiful!


But so is the fun!



This blog is about sharing the crazy journey God has us on -- the messes, the fun, the joy, the pain, the struggles, the crafts (for the uncrafty, of course), the occasional cooking from scratch, the attempt to live frugally for a greater purpose, the learning, the loving. The chaos! But, as the Sanctus Real song says, "It feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace." The peace comes from the only thing truly good about our home, and that is Jesus. I am so glad that He's "up to something bigger than me"!

So what do you say? Would you like a front row seat for the chaos? Click over in my sidebar to become a follower! Thanks for joining our party!

Y'all come back now, ya' hear? (Did I mention we live somewhere in Texas?)

Logistical Issues of Having 3 Kids

Recently I blogged here about having 3 kids, and said it was a topic I could go on and on about. So consider this a continuation. I am really so thankful to have 3 kids and to have them fairly close in age, the positives definitely out-weigh the negatives.

But, that being said, there are some logistical issues inherent to having 3 (or more) kids. Many of the issues surprised me and I never would have thought of them before actually having a 3rd child.

13 Logistical Issues About Having 3 or more kids:

1. 3 car seats may not fit in your vehicle

This is not as easy as it may seem, many back seat rows are not wide enough. If you have a 3rd row in your vehicle you will now need to use it to accommodate a child and if you have a smaller SUV, once the 3rd row is up there may be no room for groceries or even a stroller in the back. This is where you may (like us) find yourself suddenly on the market for a vehicle with a 3rd row that can be partially folded down. I became very familiar with the terms "50-50" split and "60-40" split (meaning part of the 3rd row could be a seat and part flat for cargo)!

2. Many restaurant tables are set up for families of 4.

You may have to wait longer to get a table big enough for your family of 5.

3. You are going to clock many, many years at your local elementary school!

Even before we signed up for a 4th child (the one we're adopting from Ethiopia) I was staggered the day I did the math and figured out we'd have a child at our elementary school for 10 years! Good thing we really like the school, the principal and the teachers!

4. You may need a whole 'nother level of babysitter (or consider hiring 2).

Things are more manageable now, but there was a time when we had a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and an infant and you can't just leave that combination with the high school girl down the street while you go out for the evening! For our very occasional date nights, we began using a lady who is a full-time nanny for someone else during the day (so basically a professional caregiver who would be up to the challenge of our 3)!

5. Many hotel rooms have a maximum of 4 occupants and that includes kids.

So once your 3rd child is more than an infant you may have to look to adjoining rooms or a suite.

6. The Schedule!

Playdates, practices, recitals, field trips, teacher conferences, school open houses, birthday parties, lessons, doctor appointments ALL TIMES 3!! It is enough to make you nuts. You limit each kid to 1 outside activity, say "no" to any unnecessary commitments, keep a really good family calendar, try to schedule doctor and dentist appts. with all 3 kids together (But beware, the pediatrician's exam room suddenly feels really small and really loud when you are in it with your 3 kids plus the doctor!) And for the most part, you just embrace the crazy!

7. It will take at least 10 minutes to "load up" your vehicle every time you go somewhere.

Just getting 3 kids strapped into the vehicle takes a while and then you have to allow for the lost shoes and last minute needs for drinks to go or a trip to the potty!

8. Your grocery cart is full of kids and there's no room for groceries!

If your kids are spaced close together and your oldest is still under 5, you will want them all to ride if you have any hope of getting shopping done. I became an expert on which stores around me offered the carts with a baby seat as well as the 2 plastic seats near the front for older kids.

9. It takes a lot of groceries to feed 3 kids.

Once all 3 of your kids are drinking milk, you will go through massive quantities in a week. We use 5 or 6 gallon jugs in a week for our family of 5! I've got a system in our fridge where I can store 6 jugs so I don't have to go to the store more than once a week!

10. Serving meals for 5 people takes more time than you think!

Just dishing up 5 different plates takes some time, and then if you have little kids you have to cut 3 different plates of meat.

11. Safety

When you are one adult and you take 3 young, mobile children to the park, it is impossible to keep your eyes on all 3 at once! You must keep watch like a tennis match the best you can from one child to the other. Dressing them in matching clothes really helps here! And crossing parking lots you only have 2 hands. So you teach them to hold each other's hands or I have been known to hold 2 kid hands in one of my hands before!

12. Visiting at friends' houses

Even having my 3 kids fairly close together, there is still a pretty big difference from my oldest to my youngest and occasionally it is challenging to visit friends who only have kids at one end of the age spectrum. If someone only has older kids, your baby or toddler is going to be pretty out of place in their home that now is not baby-proofed and only has toys for older kids. Alternatively, if your friend only has little ones, your oldest may be the strange, big, rough, older kid in a room full of babies!

13. 3 Kids = a lot of stuff

If you don't already, once you have 3 kids you will need to keep your clutter-control tactics on high-alert. The volume of clothes, toys, paperwork, crafts, birthday party loot bags, etc. that will need to be managed is mind-boggling. No more saving every piece of artwork that comes home from Sunday School!

Okay, I'm really worried this all sounded too negative. Did I mention how much fun it is having 3 kids?!!!!





Find more Thankful Thursday, Thursday Thirteen

Egg Hunting Farm-Style

What? Doesn't everyone hunt for Easter eggs in tractor wheels?

My husband's family has a farm one state away from us and we big city dwellers head there for a big family gathering and egg hunt every Easter.

Tractors make great egg hiding spots! Look closely, in addition to the blue egg there's a camo egg hidden under the wheel.

Find more Wordless or Wordful Wednesday.

As parents we need all the help we can get!

"Feel free to keep the toys you clean up."

"Would you like to leave the park in 2 minutes or 3 minutes?"

"We will play that game as soon as you put your shoes away."

"I'll listen when your voice is as calm as mine."

These phrases and others like them have completely and utterly saved my sanity when dealing with my kids. I learned them in a book.

I've read many books through the years relating to parenting, but the book that has helped the most is Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. I highly recommend this book and the Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood.



The parenting philosophy presented in the books makes sense and the techniques really work.

The keys are to remain calm (and I've found when you have a strategy for dealing with behavior it really makes it easier to be calm) and to follow through.

For example, I used the first phrase above, "Feel free to keep the toys you clean up." with my 7 year old who has gotten in the habit of just moving around a couple toys and not really putting anything away when asked to clean his room. I said it in a very calm, matter of fact way and was completely ready to pack up the toys that he didn't put away and put them in the garage for a while. It is a logical consequence because if he cannot put away his toys by himself then he probably has too many toys to be responsible for. But, you know what? It worked! He actually cleaned them all up! First time in a long time he's done it without more of a fight, but also was the first time I phrased the request in a Love and Logic fashion. (I have to re-read the book often to stay on top of my parenting game!)

I heard from a teacher recently who uses the Love and Logic approach with her class. She said her favorite tactic is when the kids get too loud in line as she walks them through the hallways, she stops and simply says, "I'll continue when you're quiet." She said it is amazing how quickly the kids stop talking. She knows from experience that barking idle things like, "Quiet!" or "Who's talking?!" would just be ignored and would only succeed in getting her upset.

I was really happy to hear that teachers are now adopting this great method of interacting with kids!

**This is not a paid endorsement. I genuinely have, read, and use these books. But, if you purchase a book through my link or store, I will receive a small portion of the sale.**

Find more Works for Me Wednesday here.

I may need to borrow some mountain climbing gear.

Last week brought some hard news. My mom, who has been struggling with short-term memory issues for well over a year now, received a diagnosis of dementia with Lewy bodies.

I had never heard of the disease, but apparently it is not rare and is the 2nd leading cause of dementia behind Alzheimer's. Lewy body dementia (LBD) is like a combination of Alzheimer's and Parkinson's with progressive degradation of cognitive and motor abilities. There is no cure.

My mom is fairly young for such a disease at age 60. Currently her symptoms are mostly mild (although she has been unable to work for a year due to them), and we hope that the disease will progress slowly for her, but there is no way to know. The average survival rate is 5 to 7 years after symptoms develop with most patients being unable to care for themselves in the last few years.

I spent the first hours after hearing her diagnosis grieving over what may become of my mom's mind and body, grieving over what she has already lost, and fearing the day she will be unable to care for herself.

After the grief came the "I don't want to." And that's basically what I told God. "You know God I'm hearing that you want to lead me down this path with my mom's diagnosis, but I don't want to go!" Throughout my childhood and early adulthood, my mom struggled off and on with manic depression which led her to bouts of alcoholism and prescription drug abuse, so I told God, "You know I think I've paid my dues caring for my mom." "And I have young kids, Lord. I don't want to be a part of the 'Sandwich Generation' caring for both a parent and kids."

But then something else began to wash over me. God allowed me to remember a Beth Moore Bible study I'd done ages ago (Believing God, maybe, sorry I did several of her studies during a 3 year period and am not sure which it came from). She talked about Matthew 17:20, where Jesus says, "if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you." Beth Moore's message was that when God gives you mountains in life sometimes you say "move" and He does, but sometimes He doesn't move it and He wants you to climb that mountain and see Jesus transfigured (as the disciples did in Matt 17:1-21) on top of it!

When I was diagnosed with cancer (lymphoma) nearly 6 years ago, I definitely went through the "I don't want to" phase and began referring to it as my "reluctant journey" with cancer. But during all the tests and waiting on results and then waiting to repeat the tests over 3 months to see just how bad it was, I got to a peace, a place with God where I could honestly say, "Okay, God, if you want me to climb this mountain, I will, but I am anticipating that I will see you transfigured on the top of it."

As it turned out, God moved that mountain before I even began treatment! He moved it so far off the horizon, in fact, that I don't even have to go in for check-ups with the hematologist.

I am well aware that God can move this Lewy Body Dementia so far from my mom that she, her husband, my brother, and I never have to deal with its ugliness.

But, I also know He may want us to climb that mountain instead, so He can reveal Himself in a huge new way.
Either way I'm trusting Him.

This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge.
Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!
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Waffle Sandwiches and Blue Milk

It's Not Me! Monday (a blog carnival created by MckMama; you can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have NOT been doing - but really have!)

This past week I was NOT too lazy to make homemade bagels or bread and too stubborn to go to the store to buy any since those are items on the list of things I no longer buy pre-made, so when it came time to pack lunch for my 1st grader I certainly did NOT toast a frozen waffle, spread it with Nutella, and consider it a sandwich! NOT ME!!

And on the subject of strange food, for an April Fool's joke on my kids, I did NOT turn the milk in the jug blue with food coloring and then pour it in their cups for dinner!


My kids actually loved it that way and drank all their milk that night! I'm NOT considering coloring the milk more often!

Happy Monday, everyone!

Find more Mama Guilt Mondays here.

His or Ours?

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 1 Peter 1:18-19

Jesus paid His life for yours and mine.

Our lives are not our own.

Are we living like that is true?

Or is it our time, our money, our energy, and our gifts to spend as we want?

Should our lives be spent increasing our kingdoms or His?

Is this earthly life all about our goals, our comfort, and our happiness?

Are the children who live in our homes ours or His? Should we be raising them as we see fit or according to His will so they will be His lights in this dark world?

This Good Friday I'm reminded anew that my life is not my own.

The challenge each day is to live that out!


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