Works for me Wednesday: Just Stop

Next week's Works For Me Wednesday is "Mom, I'm Bored" Summer Edition: Share your best tips to keep boredom at bay. I planned for my post this week and next to feature our family's Summer Fun List in 2 parts, but then God brought something else to my attention to use my Works for Me Wednesday spot for this week. So, next week will be our summer fun list all in one post.

I am very new to blogging and the fact that a few hundred people I've never met in real life will visit on some days (especially WFMW days) and actually read what I have to say still blows me away. Although I may often blog about some of the sillier moments of my life, this position of having a voice and reaching people is not one I take lightly. You can read more about why I blog here, but today I'd like to use this platform for a very important message.

If you are married and you have children and you and your spouse have a terrible relationship, JUST STOP!

Stop having affairs, stop yelling at each other in front of your children, stop any physical violence that may be happening, stop talking about your spouse in a negative light to your children, stop destroying your spouse's things, stop threatening to leave, stop blaming your spouse for everything that is bad about your family, and definitely stop claiming you are staying together for the sake of the children!

If these things are going on in your family, know that it is abusive to your children and that you can make a choice to stop it. Yes, it takes 2 to fight, but it only takes 1 to end a fight. Watch the movie Fireproof for great inspiration on how one person choosing to be selfless can dramatically turn around a relationship.

I know a lady who found out her husband was having an affair when her 3 daughters were in grade school and middle school. She and her husband didn't tell their kids about the affair, but did tell them that Mommy & Daddy were having problems and were working on it. They enlisted in marriage counseling and worked and prayed through their problems and now 15 years later have a wonderful marriage and strong family culture. They made a choice to work through the problem in a healthy way rather than giving up or worse, living together with bitterness, anger and even hatred for one another.

I wish my parents had made that choice.

But instead they had years and years of a terrible marriage (affairs, alcohol problems, fights so bad the police would come) until my junior year in high school when my dad finally packed up his things when no one was home and moved out without telling us goodbye. I was the first one to return home that day and thought the house had been burglarized until I realized only his things were missing.

He was a deacon at our church, my mom was very involved in the community, school functions, etc. We were an every day family on the outside but things were very wrong on the inside. I think the fact that it was our little secret, that the problems were never talked about in the light of day, made things even worse psychologically for my brother and me. It really wasn't until I was a teenager that I realized not all families functioned that way.

Only by the grace of God have I been set free from the legacy of my childhood family. But, the damage cannot all be erased. It affected so much of who I am and my memories of growing up. Years later the sound of a door slamming can still fill me with fear and dread of what is to come.

So, please, make a better choice for your children. Don't think you are taking the high road by staying together for the sake of your children. Heal your marriage for the sake of your children! Make a choice to stop for the sake of your children!

Find more Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family.