Monday, February 8, 2010

They had to try it!

This afternoon when I put my toddler in two minutes of time-out (he threw a toy across the room), he decided to try out some new tactics.

The first 30 seconds he spent yelling, "But I love you Mommy! I love you!"

I ignored him.

Realizing that wasn't going to work, he switched tactics and began yelling, "I don't love you! I don't love you!"

I ignored him.

So, he saw the need to try yet another tactic. His sister had just minutes earlier gotten some attention for complaining that her leg hurt. So for his final 45 seconds in time-out he yelled, "My leg hurts! My leg hurts!"

Only in my mind did I commend his efforts!

Then there is my 4 year old daughter who has for the last several weeks been trying out a new, totally different tactic of her own.

It is the loud-and-dramatic-crying-when-she-doesn't-get-her-way tactic. She began using it on her brothers. I remember the first few times those boys were so surprised at her pitiful crying that they immediately caved and began going above and beyond to make her happy again.

But, by about the 5th or 6th time, both her big brother and her little brother didn't seem as phased by her crying outbursts. I suppose boys without sisters have to wait until they are dating to learn that girls sometimes try to control people with their tears!

Then she tried it on me.

I ignored her until the crying went on for an annoying amount of time (I think I max out around 6 or 7 minutes). And then I told her that I'd be glad to talk to her about why she was upset when she was calm, but if she still needed to cry she'd have to go to her room because it was hurting my ears. When she realized I wasn't going to cave to the tears, she quit.

I love the moments in parenting when your kids are so transparent you can see exactly what is going through their heads and you know just how to handle it. Sometimes those moments feel really rare and I am just frustrated by their behavior and at a loss as to how to handle it, so I am thankful for the times I clearly see it and for the laughs my husband and I can have at their expense after they've gone to bed!


This post is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge.

Check out Gratituesday & Tuesdays Unwrapped.

16 comments:

  1. I love those rare moments too! Usually, I'm frustrated and left with an even more frustrated preschooler! (Found you via Tuesdays Unwrapped!)

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  2. How true is this...lol...However, be prepared as this continues on as they age. They just find different things that still work to get their way on things. Teenagers are REALLY pros. Or at least mine were. Nothing gave me more pleasure when I KNEW what they were doing and it didn't work, haha...Have a good day.

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  3. Good job on being consistent! :D It is difficult, but it definitely is rewarding and gets better. :D

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  4. Kids are really smarter than we give them credit for. Most times I don't see the reasoning behind their actions but when I do, it's just like you described. I love the pic of your family on your sidebar.

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  5. I love those moments too because just like you said- you have to admire their effort LOL

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  6. Thank goodness for those times when you can see what they're doing! Sounds like you've done a great job of learning to read your kids. Good for you for finding the thing to be thankful for!

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  7. Consistency is so key! I have a four year old BOY who is doing the same crying thing (I think maybe it's a middle child thing with him). But man, he can keep it up for quite awhile, even though it gets him no where! It is very frustrating!!!!

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  8. We got our first "I don't love you anymore" yesterday from our 3 year old. Tore my husband to pieces.

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  9. Yes! I am dealing with my six-year old who is trying to turn on the tears for attention...he's never done this before!

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  10. haha, I love these too. My 3 1/2 yr old routinely sends her 2yo brother in to say "he wants" to do something/eat something/whatever. I guess she thinks it is easier if HE gets the no.. lol. and nothing lost if he gets a YES.

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  11. hahaha! Those little goobers! Mine do the same thing! Props to you for knowing their game!

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  12. Hey, if you can't laugh at your kids what can you laugh at??? My 2 year olds current thing is the minute she knows she is in trouble she throws her arms around you and starts giving you kisses and saying, "Ellie loves Pa... or Mama... or KK or whoever she is in for it with."

    Kat

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  13. niiiiice! We use the 'I can't hear you when you're talking/crying like that, if you want to continue, go to your room' line often in our home for sure.

    I always get a kick out of the time I heard my 4 y/old calm down so I went to his room and asked if he was ready to come back out and talked. He solemly looked at me, shook his head and began whining/crying on purpose for just a few more minutes!

    ;)

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  14. If it wasn't so rough to listen to...wouldn't you want to giggle a bit? They are so obvious! I remember those days...

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  15. It is so much easier when we can see it for what it is and have an internal chuckle!!! Have a good day!!!

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  16. I'm loving this story, although I'm sure I'll be eating my words if I ever have children of my own! I have a friend with the cutest 4 year old son, who misbehaves so cutely that I just want to laugh.... good thing I'm not the one who has to say no. :)

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