Friday, February 6, 2009

A Shining Example of Mom Detective Work

Here's a little excerpt from a day of mine last week:

It is about 5:30 PM on a Friday, after a not so fun day that included my 3 year-old throwing a huge fit during pick-up at my son's elementary school that left the teachers fighting over who will get to be
her kindergarten teacher. I am attempting to get the 3 kids ready to go to a Family Fun Night Party for the elementary school. My husband is working late, so he will meet me there straight from work.

I have baked the batch of brownies I signed-up to bring to the event, they are cooling on the counter. I tackle wiggly toddler and pull off clothes filthy from a day in his life, I change his diaper and he gets free and begins running around in his diaper. I move on to my 3 year-old and dress her in something that fits the "Under the Sea" theme for the party. I fix her hair complete with hairbow. I tell my older son his pirate costume looks great and help him find the eye-patch he is looking for. I turn back to toddler and wrangle him into his clothes for the evening. I run downstairs, spend literally 3 minutes changing my clothes and brushing my hair, no time for more than a lipstick refresher on the make-up side. I notice my older son is no longer wearing his pirate costume. I ask him about it and he replies that it is "too scratchy". I shrug and tell him I thought he looked cool. I cut up brownies and put them in a disposable pan and set them by my keys so I won't forget them. I begin putting shoes on kids. I answer a call from my husband and reconfirm where he is to meet us. I finish getting shoes on kids. It is 5:50 PM, we are running just about on schedule to make it to the 6PM party. My 1 year-old is now at my feet, I scoop him up to load him into the car and he is wet! Not just a little, but shirt-wringing wet, kind of wet!

I look to my 2 older kids, normally the authorities on all their little brother's activities, "Why is he wet?" I ask, but they don't know. I don't have time to investigate further, I haul him upstairs to change his clothes.

I decide the wet clothes are too wet for the dirty clothes hamper and head into the bathroom to hang them on the hook on the back of the door to dry. I step in a puddle of water, in my sock-feet! I groan, one of the kids must have dumped a bath toy that was sitting on the side of the tub. I grab a towel to mop up the water, as I'm hurriedly mopping it up, I notice the water is really centered around the toilet. Then I see her, a small Barbie-like Cinderella doll laying a few inches from the potty. I reach to pick her up and she is soaking wet!

Suddenly, all the clues fall together -- wet toddler, wet bathroom floor, wet doll near toilet. Oh yes, my little angel/devil must have had a fine time dunking Cinderella in the potty, probably more than once judging by the amount of water!

There was a time when I would have proceeded to completely sanitize said Cinderella doll, maybe even doing a little internet research on just how to go about sanitizing a doll. Then there was a time in the more recent past where I would have just thrown the doll away and dealt with the possibility of my daughter finding out and freaking out, but not that day, my friends. That day I would stoop to a level that would surprise even myself!

I put the doll on the bathroom counter and walked away as if nothing had ever happened! Would she dry out and somehow make her way back into toy-circulation? Probably, but that's okay, because you see, her toilet swim? It didn't happen! Mind games are not just for kids any more, but mom survival, too! We made it to the party on time and I even remembered to bring the brownies!

For more Friday Funnies head on over to The Run A Muck.


  1. Good for you!! I can almost feel the satisfaction you felt when you turned around and walked out of the bathroom!

  2. Too funny! Glad poor Cinderella survived the swirlies, courtesy of the toddler!

  3. That was a really cute post! I enjoyed reading it!


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